tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post1220762255560532637..comments2023-10-08T08:29:47.056-04:00Comments on Bringing along OCD . . . : Depression back story: How I allow the past to negatively affect my presentUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-47854647861956781962012-05-27T20:42:10.298-04:002012-05-27T20:42:10.298-04:00Shannon, It's interesting that we're usual...Shannon, It's interesting that we're usually wrong in our assumptions, or it seems that way with me the more questions I ask. It's such a hard habit to break, this mind reading--I'm not even always aware that I'm doing it. Thanks for your comment!Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-63176205465463209892012-05-27T14:06:51.263-04:002012-05-27T14:06:51.263-04:00I am a fellow mind reader!! I ALWAYS think I can ...I am a fellow mind reader!! I ALWAYS think I can tell how someones feels...when in actuality when I have asked about it, they usually feel the exact opposite! I guess I really need to ask more questions and delve deeper so I am not assuming...they feel this way about me, or that way about me!Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16133913970571235792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-85447982612605778922012-05-27T13:45:17.414-04:002012-05-27T13:45:17.414-04:00Thank you for your comment and suggestion. My moth...Thank you for your comment and suggestion. My mother has suffered from depression, and perhaps some other disorders. It's hard to tell because she's never explored that herself. I agree that understanding that those who hurt us had problems too can give us a different perspective--not excusing their behavior, but understanding it better.<br /><br />Thank you for stopping by and reading and comment! I appreciate it.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-24634336027323425542012-05-27T12:41:40.028-04:002012-05-27T12:41:40.028-04:00Hi.
Thank you for being so honest and open and wr...Hi.<br /><br />Thank you for being so honest and open and writing this blog. I too have OCD. I have scrupulosity, mostly, and find I am stuck in my head praying many times a day. I wanted to share something that helped me a bit. When I read the post above I thought about how your mother and my mother share some similarities. Through therapy, I discovered my mother is narcissistic. She doesn't fit every single criteria, but many. I read about it much online. It made me feel better to understand. I am sorry. I am not saying your mother is narcissistic. I just wanted to share my thoughts - I'm not saying I'm right - in hopes of even possibly being able to help you or another OCD suffer or anyone for that matter! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-4703253267179513872012-05-19T07:55:01.381-04:002012-05-19T07:55:01.381-04:00Thank you very much Tina for this post. For me, it...Thank you very much Tina for this post. For me, it was completely the opposite. I had a very similar problem with my father, reading his mind and guessing and believing my guess about what he is thinking, feeling, doing. It was terrible, as I believed it so much that it was happening.<br />Until today, my hands shake when i see my dad, when i see his name on my mobile knowing he is the one calling.<br />As for my mother. I used to provoke a problem with her, I wanted to argue with her as arguing is better than nothing. She was absentNikky44https://www.blogger.com/profile/06725453458357123087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-47432348905008604872012-05-17T16:39:57.105-04:002012-05-17T16:39:57.105-04:00Thank you for your kind words, Janet. I think it&#...Thank you for your kind words, Janet. I think it's wonderful that you deliberately tried to be a different kind of mom to your children. I would like to think that if I'd had children, I would have been a different kind of mom too.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-19517346637927159402012-05-17T16:33:00.595-04:002012-05-17T16:33:00.595-04:00Thank you for sharing this moving post. my mother ...Thank you for sharing this moving post. my mother has always been loving, but also extremely controlling, pretty much running my life until I was old enough to leave home (which I did asap). I try to take the lessons I've learned from my childhood to be just the opposite type of mom, especially to my two daughters. I hope I've given them the opportunities and freedoms to become who they really are, as well as be in charge of their own lives. We all have stories, that's for sure. Thanks for sharing some of yours.Janet (ocdtalk)http://www.ocdtalk.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-14739155612519754662012-05-17T11:55:08.735-04:002012-05-17T11:55:08.735-04:00Becky, Thank you. Your daughter is lucky to have y...Becky, Thank you. Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mom!<br /><br />Glad to recommend!Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-78242310033318013312012-05-17T11:29:31.650-04:002012-05-17T11:29:31.650-04:00Extremely powerful and honest writing. It's a ...Extremely powerful and honest writing. It's a good reminder for us moms to always think about how our actions might impact our children.<br /><br />And many thanks for recommending my blog to Shirley Showalter!Becky Green Aaronsonhttp://www.animprobablelife.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-71286532692960216742012-05-17T10:24:10.546-04:002012-05-17T10:24:10.546-04:00Sunny, Thank you for your comment. You're righ...Sunny, Thank you for your comment. You're right--it takes lots of practice and reminding ourselves of what we're doing.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-42288291703976672792012-05-17T10:23:06.794-04:002012-05-17T10:23:06.794-04:00Such a great quote, Keith--and so true. We can'...Such a great quote, Keith--and so true. We can't even notice today if we're caught up in reliving yesterday.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-32925861800748818412012-05-17T10:22:19.955-04:002012-05-17T10:22:19.955-04:00Krystal Lynn, I'm sorry that we have this in c...Krystal Lynn, I'm sorry that we have this in common. I know my mother has and had problems--not sure if it's more than depression. I have learned to pick my battles, too. I actually used to talk with my mother every day. That was not healthy. She got meaner the more I pulled away from her. I don't talk with her much anymore. I have to really prep myself before I call her on the phone or, especially, if I visit her. I have just reached the end of letting her and her words dictate what kind of life I have.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-70254294718198051692012-05-17T10:18:22.546-04:002012-05-17T10:18:22.546-04:00Lisa, I am working on it. I like to think that I&#...Lisa, I am working on it. I like to think that I' have transcended a lot of it, but I still have work to do.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-26175461485048970362012-05-17T10:17:39.854-04:002012-05-17T10:17:39.854-04:00Elizabeth, It's hard no matter which parent is...Elizabeth, It's hard no matter which parent is doing it, or both parents, isn't it?Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-78040709394652545322012-05-17T10:17:01.382-04:002012-05-17T10:17:01.382-04:00Thank you, Kim. And I'm glad you stopped by!Thank you, Kim. And I'm glad you stopped by!Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-44194082780489295252012-05-17T08:53:02.079-04:002012-05-17T08:53:02.079-04:00Well written. Very meaningful. I'm sorry you w...Well written. Very meaningful. I'm sorry you were devalued as a child.<br /><br />I've long struggled with mind reading. I've been paying more attention to it lately and I can't believe how much I do it. It is always better to ask questions, or to even assume a positive interpretation and move forward in that framework (even if I'm wrong - I'll try to take that chance now). It takes LOTS of practice though. I also have to keep reminding myself that my past is just that, it's past. Again, this takes lots of practice and reminding. I still struggle with this.71º & Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09981113989131619635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-48621475751070239602012-05-17T08:29:29.403-04:002012-05-17T08:29:29.403-04:00This reminds me of a quote that I love. "Don&...This reminds me of a quote that I love. "Don't let yesterday take up too much of today".Optimistic Existentialisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11507986337866049924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-23681403817267923262012-05-17T07:36:16.561-04:002012-05-17T07:36:16.561-04:00Ok, are we sisters Tina? Your talking about my mo...Ok, are we sisters Tina? Your talking about my mom, right? (I do appreciate my mom taking me to the library as a child and sharing her love of books with me) From what little I know about manic personality, I don't think my mom had that, yet her emotions were so extreme one way or the other: intense love or intense anger. I became hyper-aware to stay out of the way of the tornado. Her love/attention was so overwhelming (& conditional) that I feared that too.<br />I didn't fight/argue with my mom though, that would have only increased her fury and I saw what she did to my father so I learned quickly to just let her run my life and play along.<br />In my late 30's I finally decided to choose my battles but speak up for what/how I honestly feel. I don't know if I feel better about it now or not, we speak very little anymore and she just got crueler in what she says to me. I still suffer. <br />The result of this is that I tend to distrust women , I feel they have ulterior motives and when I see how mean women can be to each other, it really bothers me. I'm close to my daughter's & I have women friends but only a few that I became really close enough to share confidences with - it takes me quite awhile to feel comfortable and know I can trust them.<br />I've had some great women friends come into my life in the last 10 years that opened me up..and of course my daughters who are wonderful women.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16288842067954888301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-87016801823235680062012-05-17T07:35:31.316-04:002012-05-17T07:35:31.316-04:00Wow, hard to transcend an unsupportive childhood. ...Wow, hard to transcend an unsupportive childhood. Sounds like you're really working on it though!Lisa @ Two Bears Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03464839163693785901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-39736313595817737712012-05-17T07:29:28.053-04:002012-05-17T07:29:28.053-04:00This is quite a moving post.
I struggle with fath...This is quite a moving post.<br /><br />I struggle with father issues. My Dad was the one who was always allowing his mood to dictate his words.Elizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18279501398388972542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-83543029965357236772012-05-17T01:22:38.784-04:002012-05-17T01:22:38.784-04:00--WOW.
Powerful. Moving. Honest.
Thank you so...--WOW.<br /> Powerful. Moving. Honest.<br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing this most provocotive, amazing post.<br /><br />XxMy Inner Chickhttp://myinnerchick.comnoreply@blogger.com