tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post3778411010738127619..comments2023-10-08T08:29:47.056-04:00Comments on Bringing along OCD . . . : OCD and the piano recitalUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-6245416329505001822012-05-23T16:47:14.872-04:002012-05-23T16:47:14.872-04:00Nikky, I get nervous when I'm speaking in fron...Nikky, I get nervous when I'm speaking in front of others too. It was really hard for me when I was a teacher.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-28844662892274071822012-05-23T15:02:08.185-04:002012-05-23T15:02:08.185-04:00I have always had a very severe anxiety, since my ...I have always had a very severe anxiety, since my youngest years. I was never able to even read a text in front of the class. I got much better, but until now, my voice shakes if i need to do anything in front of othersNikky44https://www.blogger.com/profile/06725453458357123087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-14213988371661283762012-05-21T20:12:24.011-04:002012-05-21T20:12:24.011-04:00Sarah, Good to hear from you! I know what you mean...Sarah, Good to hear from you! I know what you mean by needing the candle to be in a position that felt right. That's a hard feeling to walk away from.<br /><br />I don't think I handed in a paper late either. It just didn't seem like an option for me. Conscientiousness is a good thing, until it goes awry, of course.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-74554407730613990472012-05-21T19:29:37.232-04:002012-05-21T19:29:37.232-04:00Tina,
Your post was really interesting. Now that ...Tina,<br /><br />Your post was really interesting. Now that I'm more educated about OCD, I can look back and realize that I, indeed, had OC tendencies as a child. They weren't serious, but they definitely fit the pattern of the disorder.<br /><br />For instance, I kept this candle on my bathroom counter that I would have to straighten in the evenings until it felt "right." One night my mom came upstairs to find me straightening it to face a certain way, but I was stuck, I couldn't get it to feel right. She had to physically take me away from the sink and put me to bed. <br /><br />I was also just like rules - making mistakes or breaking rules made me feel just terrible! I don't think I've ever handed in a paper late in my entire educational career (and I've been in school for 23 years now!). <br /><br />SarahSarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05676694032201292503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-70303986788433295672012-05-21T14:33:57.947-04:002012-05-21T14:33:57.947-04:00Lisa, Apparently I had the same problem with the b...Lisa, Apparently I had the same problem with the bathroom at school, though I don't remember that. My mother told me I thought it was dark and was afraid of it. That was a good thing your mom did--to show you there was nothing to be afraid of.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-6781220424815931512012-05-21T14:32:15.300-04:002012-05-21T14:32:15.300-04:00Rebecca, I agree--recitals are just made for anxie...Rebecca, I agree--recitals are just made for anxiety! Yes, I still play when I take time to do so. But it's just for me, my husband and kitties now. :-)Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-36333044742481917312012-05-21T13:29:22.909-04:002012-05-21T13:29:22.909-04:00Cute picture! I would've never noticed the wr...Cute picture! I would've never noticed the wrong note I'm sure.<br /><br />I remember some anxious moments as a kid - one in particular over the bathroom at school (which I refused to use until one day I couldn't make it and came home wet - my mom took me back to school and made me see the bathroom so I'd stop being afraid). Funny the things you remember.Lisa @ Two Bears Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03464839163693785901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-46351681289113078522012-05-21T13:06:28.549-04:002012-05-21T13:06:28.549-04:00That is a very interesting account. I think we al...That is a very interesting account. I think we all have those feelings at recitals, though maybe not for the reasons you name here. (anxiety, etc.) Do you still play?Rebecca Lane Beittelhttp://rebeccaoftomorrow.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-83225781457307301002012-05-21T12:01:49.625-04:002012-05-21T12:01:49.625-04:00Nadine, I still have that problem, too. I focus on...Nadine, I still have that problem, too. I focus on the mistakes instead of the good. What's ironic is that many people don't even see the mistakes, like apparently I was the only one (besides possibly my piano teacher) that heard the wrong note. <br /><br />I understand your mixed feelings about the newspaper article, but I also think it's great! Jeff Goins talks about the importance of "shipping" our work after we've completed it--putting it out there even when it's hard, because that's the only way to share it and have your voice heard. (I think he got the "shipping" idea from something Steve Jobs said.) Your voice needs to be heard, so it this is a way to get it out there even more, then it's a good thing! :-)Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-70335076474774262372012-05-21T11:56:06.196-04:002012-05-21T11:56:06.196-04:00Janet, Isn't that odd, that we both worried ab...Janet, Isn't that odd, that we both worried about being clear about our ages, concerned that we would be deceiving. I agree with the continuum idea--I just kept going on it into full-blown OCD.<br /><br />I've spent a lot of my life doing what I thought I was supposed to do. Interestingly, I think some of that actually helped me be what one psychiatrist called "high functioning." I didn't think I had a choice not to do what I needed to do, like stay in school, even when I was very depressed and completely under the control of OCD. But overall, now I try to do what I believe is best to do, not what someone else thinks I'm supposed to do.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-6806178569525160012012-05-21T11:46:23.151-04:002012-05-21T11:46:23.151-04:00I used to get sick before I had to do something sc...I used to get sick before I had to do something scary. I sang in the chorus and was selected to sing with a smaller group in a contest, but I got a strep throat the week before the contest. I would get genuinely ill, but it always began with severe anxiety. <br /><br />The "one wrong note" part of this post hit me hard. Even now, after years of therapy, it's hard to see what I do right or well. This week the local paper is doing an article on me -- should be good news, right? And yet I am terrified. If more people read my books, more people will find mistakes in them. Part of me still wants to be invisible, and that part of me works against the other part that wants readers.Nadine Feldmanhttp://nadinefeldman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-79406321601614726172012-05-21T11:45:46.656-04:002012-05-21T11:45:46.656-04:00I can relate to your post, doing what you were &qu...I can relate to your post, doing what you were "supposed to do," and not feeling like you had any choice. I felt that way for most of my childhood. I also specifically remember feeling like I should clarify when asked my age: "I'm seven, but I'll be eight in nine days." Just so it wouldn't seem like I was trying to deceive anyone. That kind of stuff. And I don't have OCD.......I guess we are all on the same continuum; I just never progressed to where these thoughts and behaviors became real problems.Janet (ocdtalk)http://www.ocdtalk.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-31754278312985173112012-05-21T10:16:51.316-04:002012-05-21T10:16:51.316-04:00Thank you for your kindness, Sunny. I "confes...Thank you for your kindness, Sunny. I "confessed" a lot as a child too, whether I actually did anything or not. It hurts to think of kids going through that and feeling guilty and afraid.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-26252065739942472192012-05-21T10:15:32.647-04:002012-05-21T10:15:32.647-04:00Elizabeth, Thank you! I love to play, too. In fact...Elizabeth, Thank you! I love to play, too. In fact, I really started to enjoy playing when I stopped lessons. You're right--no pressure, just music.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-80527763286350335012012-05-21T10:14:33.495-04:002012-05-21T10:14:33.495-04:00Thanks, Tracy! I started counting as a child. I wo...Thanks, Tracy! I started counting as a child. I would count letters on signs, in pictures, etc., trying to make it come out in three's, even if I had to use the periods, commas and other marks. I also counted objects, doing the same thing. I didn't realize until I was an adult that I was doing it for comfort. I still find myself counting when I'm stressed.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-6937291657820517932012-05-21T09:27:20.936-04:002012-05-21T09:27:20.936-04:00Oh, look at you, you were so cute! I think the soc...Oh, look at you, you were so cute! I think the socks and sandals are adorable. ha ha<br /><br />I remember feeling guilt about stuff like that too as a kid. I would tattle on myself every time I did (or thought I did) something wrong. Of course, that was encouraged by the adults, but I realize now it was just a compulsion for me. Ugh. Sometimes I think about how guilt ridden I was as a child and I literally feel sick to my stomach, like I do right now. I'm sorry you felt that way too as a little one. It honestly breaks my heart.71º & Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09981113989131619635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-59145568134295176232012-05-21T09:12:18.169-04:002012-05-21T09:12:18.169-04:00You have just brought up a whole slew of memories ...You have just brought up a whole slew of memories of my own piano recitals and lessons! Oh my, I remember having to play for a room of people and messing up and being so anxious that I'd forget my next notes. It was awful! Today, I love to play the piano when I can (my sister has our childhood one). No pressure... just music.<br /><br />I love that picture of you!Elizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18279501398388972542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-34499992759639254182012-05-21T08:17:56.861-04:002012-05-21T08:17:56.861-04:00Tina,
You know hindsight is 20/20 but as child I r...Tina,<br />You know hindsight is 20/20 but as child I remember tracing things with my eyes; the outline of picture frames, the cracks in the walls, the furniture and I still do it today-I do it for comfort and sometimes just don't feel I can stop depending upon my anxiety...interesting that I've never really thought of it it those terms. <br />I love the photo of you...I just look at that little girl and want to protect her.Tracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795817810030681267noreply@blogger.com