tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post4851863636271158561..comments2023-10-08T08:29:47.056-04:00Comments on Bringing along OCD . . . : OCD and making decisionsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-29048583576833174422013-02-02T21:29:38.238-05:002013-02-02T21:29:38.238-05:00Katherine, thank you. I love the idea of seeing de...Katherine, thank you. I love the idea of seeing decisions as learning experiences. That makes all of life a learning experience and a journey to understanding.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-22799814337923426832013-02-02T21:28:03.598-05:002013-02-02T21:28:03.598-05:00Krystal Lynn, I will write about it very soon!
I ...Krystal Lynn, I will write about it very soon!<br /><br />I love what you say about there usually being a way forward. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect, for all our striving to be. It's good to be reminded that life can go on even after a decision that didn't turn out for the best.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-48439550041586553132013-02-02T21:26:01.298-05:002013-02-02T21:26:01.298-05:00Thank you, Madison, and I'm glad this resonate...Thank you, Madison, and I'm glad this resonated with you. Your method of turning over the anixety to God is a wonderful one. Sometimes I forget to do that, but I find that when I do let go, I feel so much more free.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-81302487133363406462013-02-02T21:24:06.833-05:002013-02-02T21:24:06.833-05:00Grace, thank you for your kind words! I appreciate...Grace, thank you for your kind words! I appreciate them! <br /><br />You are so right about the way that people with OCD hold on to things and expect the worst. It's so wonderful when we can break free from that pattern, even for a while.<br /><br />Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-81145278085474751242013-02-02T19:47:48.216-05:002013-02-02T19:47:48.216-05:00HI Tina,
I go with my instinct on things and I try...HI Tina,<br />I go with my instinct on things and I try not to second guess myself. When I follow my instincts, I've never regretted it. Sometimes I'm called to make changes and know my instincts in the right place, but also know that the timing is not quite right yet. Sometimes I've made the wrong decision in life, but I always take it as a learning experience! I think there really are no right or wrong decisions actually, just different roads and we can learn from every decision we make. All the best to you! KatherineKatherine Jenkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732133918969183030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-84286070717258036042013-02-02T17:01:30.624-05:002013-02-02T17:01:30.624-05:00I am excited to find out what this is all about, d...I am excited to find out what this is all about, don't keep us in suspense too long Tina!<br />I have very strong "gut" reactions to major decisions and usually go with the direction my gut tells me to go in. I am not opposed to risk; not as far as moving on to a new job,moving cross country or stuff that most people consider weighty. I have a really hard time with inane things like shopping for furniture, bedding or clothes. It takes me forever to feel good picking out a sofa..like I almost got sick to my stomach the last time I had to do that. In the end I know it is not crucial but it is still hard for me.<br />I have been telling myself lately that it is okay not to be perfect (good thing, cause I knew all along I wasn't) and that it is okay to fail. Most of the decisions I have made, whether they turned out good or bad, were not life and death. Sometimes you can change your mind, sometimes you can't go back, but there is usually always a way to move forward. One thing you can't do is achieve a goal without action or trying. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16288842067954888301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-77246602495286186222013-02-02T14:31:21.836-05:002013-02-02T14:31:21.836-05:00Tina, I relate to this post so much. Decision maki...Tina, I relate to this post so much. Decision making for me is one of the hardest things to do, I have loss an immense amount of sleep over them the anxiety runs full force during decision making and the obsessive thinking goes completely out of control. Honestly, I want nothing to do with it, but as we know that is impossible, decision making is part of life as is uncertainty. Sometimes what works for me is turning it over to my higher power and trusting that God will lead me in the right direction. Like I said I had a lot of identification with what you wrote, thank you for sharing another great post!<br /><br />Madison:-)<br />Sassy https://www.blogger.com/profile/12473560581723247919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-53330957715627704842013-02-01T17:55:31.851-05:002013-02-01T17:55:31.851-05:00Hi Tina, This is one of the best, if not THE best ...Hi Tina, This is one of the best, if not THE best description of OCD that I've ever read! <br /><br />"Having OCD means having a lot of uncertainty about things that others don’t even think about. Those of us with OCD wonder about things..." <br /><br />This is so true. While people without OCD move on to the next thing, those with OCD linger and wonder and contemplate and assess. We twirl it around in our minds and bend it and twist and look at it from all angles. We massage it and squeeze and zoom ahead and freak out over the inevitable negative outcome because of our neglect. The outcome is almost always based on our own failure of something. And that failure can keep us cemented in self-doubt and ambivalence. <br /><br />I'm not sure how to answer your question because I haven't been faced with a tough decision in awhile. Usually I just let it lie and ask my hubby when I get a chance. He's usually pretty level-headed. I have a daughter who second-guesses herself a lot and needs my assurance. Usually she's made the right decision and her worry is unfounded and she'll accept my opinion and move on. <br /><br />I say this because I've been on both sides of the OCD mind and interestingly my daughter's ambivalence has helped me to be more self-assured, if that makes sense. <br /><br />Before I go I wanted to thank you for retweeting my Tweet. I am still so new to Twitter and I don't understand the etiquette but I want you to know I appreciate your kindness. I'll try to return the favor. Your blog is awesome and anyway I can help promote it, I want to. (And I hope you're writing a memoir!) <br /><br />Have a great weekend. GRACE PETERSONhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04520343332670354262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-10213559201901414452013-02-01T16:32:33.069-05:002013-02-01T16:32:33.069-05:00Klaaske, I totally agree--OCD does not make sense!...Klaaske, I totally agree--OCD does not make sense! At times I have trouble with the "little" decisions, too, even over what clothes to wear. It's like I'm waiting for the "perfect" decision to come to mind, and that's never going to happen.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-89064288107367099682013-02-01T16:29:32.135-05:002013-02-01T16:29:32.135-05:00Kristina, Sometimes that's what I end up doing...Kristina, Sometimes that's what I end up doing, just making a decision without being sure of it. It's hard for me, too.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-21223009676635631192013-02-01T16:28:25.497-05:002013-02-01T16:28:25.497-05:00Lisa, that's a good idea, to remember the time...Lisa, that's a good idea, to remember the times in the past when we made decisions and things turned out OK. I'm glad Virginia has been a good fit! :-)Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-21681571197083939582013-02-01T16:27:33.833-05:002013-02-01T16:27:33.833-05:00Janet, I like your attitude about making decisions...Janet, I like your attitude about making decisions. You're right--we don't know if the other choices would have been the better ones. All we can do is our best at the time.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-85730222609943329582013-02-01T14:27:13.935-05:002013-02-01T14:27:13.935-05:00It's very strange how OCD affects my decision...It's very strange how OCD affects my decision making Tina. With the bigger things, like whether I was going to go back from Africa to Holland I had no problem. Or with things that involved my children. I just always looked at the best way and took that. <br />But when it comes to little things like at what time I must go and do my shopping, or if I must do the ironing first or start with the dishes it's an entirely different matter. There I can be stuck all day at times going back and forth and getting nothing done in the meantime, only sitting with a lot of fear and anxiety for someone to see me like that and entering my "dirty" house. <br />OCD truly doesn't make sense if you ask me!Klaaskehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17324051207416727146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-23393180514496585872013-02-01T14:18:28.486-05:002013-02-01T14:18:28.486-05:00I have a hard time making decisions sometimes--esp...I have a hard time making decisions sometimes--especially big decisions. But you're right--we won't always make the best decision. Sometimes we just have to make a decision.Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07912518380859086951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-50558262957895525062013-02-01T14:08:57.532-05:002013-02-01T14:08:57.532-05:00I worry a lot about making the right decision too....I worry a lot about making the right decision too. But I try to remind myself of other times I was worried but a decision turned out to be good. Like when we up and moved from Houston to here, I was terrified of all the bad things that could happen. But it turned out to be a good fit for us.Lisa @ Two Bears Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03464839163693785901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-51907856636015896462013-02-01T14:03:52.627-05:002013-02-01T14:03:52.627-05:00I like to think that whatever decision I make is t...I like to think that whatever decision I make is the right decision for that time and place (I agree with Nadine!). Even if things don't turn out as well as I'd hoped, do I really know it would have been better if I'd made a different decision? It all goes back to uncertainty......we will never really know. So once a decision is made,I accept it as "right" and then deal with whatever it brings me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-44493746868749184772013-02-01T12:48:13.809-05:002013-02-01T12:48:13.809-05:00Nadine, I do the same thing sometimes--make a quic...Nadine, I do the same thing sometimes--make a quick decision just to get the pain of the uncertainty over with. I think your view that we don't make wrong decisions--we just get different outcomes--is probably a lot healthier and more compassionate than the stark view I tend to have of my own decisions.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-3441596587814707062013-02-01T12:39:46.197-05:002013-02-01T12:39:46.197-05:00Jean, I love your grandmother's advice. It'...Jean, I love your grandmother's advice. It's so wise. Thank you for sharing it!Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-6071810645185218282013-02-01T12:39:04.952-05:002013-02-01T12:39:04.952-05:00Keith, I've done plenty of waffling, too, so y...Keith, I've done plenty of waffling, too, so you're not alone. I think it's something that we all have to work on.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-54836309090421972652013-02-01T12:38:20.364-05:002013-02-01T12:38:20.364-05:00Thank you, Sunny, and hugs back to you! I've m...Thank you, Sunny, and hugs back to you! I've made plenty of bad decisions in my lifetime, but somehow life went on even after the bad decisions. I have those fears, too, of ruining my life or someone else's life with a bad decision. I know it's possible, but like you say, if we make a terrible decision, we will just have to live with it. We can't let it stop us from making choices.Tina Fariss Barbourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15659018994558471570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-9701582394090926302013-02-01T11:45:12.797-05:002013-02-01T11:45:12.797-05:00I almost go to the other extreme. I sometimes make...I almost go to the other extreme. I sometimes make decisions too quickly just to be done with it, and that doesn't always serve me well. I work on backing off and making myself think things through. I would suggest that my way, too, is an anxiety response -- that I can't stand the uncertainty of waiting.<br /><br />I do believe that we never make a wrong decision, we just have different outcomes -- but that doesn't always help when the brain makes its demands!Nadine Feldmanhttp://nadinefeldman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-10363613666508178532013-02-01T09:50:45.318-05:002013-02-01T09:50:45.318-05:00That's a tough one. Unless it's my husband...That's a tough one. Unless it's my husband, I tend to get slightly offended when people ask me if I'm "sure," because I feel like their not giving me credit for working it through on my own. I guess I try to go by what my grandma used to say: "You do your best to make the best decision possible, praying about it and doing a pro and con list. Most of the time you'll get it right, some of the time you'll never be sure and have to accept that, and sometimes it will be wrong, and you have to accept that, too."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-7408473044548142832013-02-01T08:44:39.506-05:002013-02-01T08:44:39.506-05:00Tina..I am terrible with this! When faced with a d...Tina..I am terrible with this! When faced with a difficult decision, I waffle back and forth so many times that it's not even funny! It's something I'm working on though :)Optimistic Existentialisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11507986337866049924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6831964660986535542.post-82584177032507254222013-02-01T00:25:12.432-05:002013-02-01T00:25:12.432-05:00Ugh - that's a hard question!! I usually go wi...Ugh - that's a hard question!! I usually go with my gut instinct, which *tends* to be right, but not always. I try to do my research and then go with it. It's hard though, taking on the responsibility of your choices. I too feel like I am just one little decision from completely ruining my life and ending up in jail with no family, friends, money, house, etc. blah, blah, blah . . . I'm always afraid of that one split-second decision that I will regret forever. It's a scary thought. But if the day comes that I do make a terrible decision, I guess I will just have to live with it. My husband has already told me that he will still love me and not leave me if I end up in jail!! Ha ha ha Sure that's what he says NOW. he he<br /><br />Good luck with your decision. I know it is not easy. But you seem like such a thoughtful person I bet you make really good decisions most of the time. Hugs!71º & Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09981113989131619635noreply@blogger.com