It’s more than just wanting your closet to be color-coded.
It’s more than keeping your things neat and in place. It’s more than insisting
on keeping a clean house.
It’s a serious mental health disorder that disrupts your
life, gets in the way of doing the things you want to do and need to do. It’s a
serious disorder that can take those things above—the color coding, the
neatness, the cleanliness—and make them into obsessions that can only be quieted
by compulsions, repeated behaviors that make no sense from an outside
perspective.
Real OCD can look like this: Thoughts tell you that if you
don’t wash your hands perfectly, you will spread germs and someone will die. So
you carefully wash your hands with soap and water, again and again and again,
until you get a satisfied feeling and can stop. But two hours and gallons of
water have passed, and the satisfied feeling is temporary. Soon, you again
think your hands are dirty and you are going to kill someone with the germs.
And it’s back to the sink.
Real OCD can also look like this: You cooked pasta for
dinner. You turned the stove off. Or you think you did. You don’t remember
doing it. Or you remember doing it, but not doing it the “right” way. You can’t
stop thinking about it. If you didn’t turn off the stove, then it could stay
hot. Maybe it would even cause a fire. Your apartment building would burn down
and people would die and it would be your fault. So you check the stove to make
sure it’s off. You stare at the stove. You turn the knob on and off, on and
off, on and off, on and off. Finally, you hear the “click” that lets you feel
satisfied that the stove is truly off. But three hours have gone by, and your
anxiety is making you cry in frustration.
Real OCD manifests in different ways. You may be obsessed
with cleanliness, and others may be obsessed with counting. You doubt things
other people never think about. You compulsively do things in an attempt to be
sure that all is well. You know the obsessions and compulsions make no sense. But
you can’t stop having the thoughts. You can’t stop doing the compulsions.
What I want you to know about OCD is that it’s a ball of
anxiety that fills you with frustration and depression and hopelessness and
fear. It’s a swirl of thoughts that won’t calm down, won’t let you rest for
just a little while.
Most of all, what I want you know about OCD is that you are
not alone with it. And there are treatments available that can help you live
with the disorder. I got treatment, and it made a world of difference. Talk to
your doctor or the website of the International OCD Foundation for more information.
Oct. 7 – 13 is OCD
Awareness Week!
