A Review of 2014: The Year of Adventure

I hope those of you who celebrate Christmas had a wonderful and peaceful holiday! Larry and I had a quiet but very enjoyable time.

It’s hard for me to believe that this is the last post I will write in 2014. The years go by so quickly now!

Before the start of 2014, I chose a word to guide me through the year: Adventure. I did have some adventures during the year, some fun and exciting, some not-so-fun but life-changing, some big, some small.

Here are some of my adventures in 2014:

January: I opened a freelance editing business.

February: I started thinking about and making notes to write a mystery novel. I went sledding for the first time in years and had a blast!

One of my favorite photos from 2014. It was taken by Larry.

March: I covered the Group 1A boys basketball finals in Richmond and wrote a story about it—me, a non-sportswriter.

April: Larry and I started our first garden in the raised bed.

The raised bed garden in June.

May: I did an interview for a story on OCD and scrupulosity on CNN.com.

June: Relationships with family members changed forever.

July: I started to knit. I went on a ride-along with a deputy with the county sheriff’s office.

Chase Bird doesn't seem to think too highly of my knitting.

September: I made an adjustment in my medications that made a big, positive difference in my depression. I didn't start talk therapy as I planned. I put that off until 2015 because of scheduling problems.

October-November: I started and finished physical therapy for a problem that remains to be diagnosed for sure: Neck? Shoulder? Both?

November: Larry and I tried authentic Japanese food for the first time. We found snow at the Peaks of Otter on Thanksgiving Day.

One adventure I worked on the whole year was reading. Yes, reading is always an adventure for me. I set a goal to read 24 books. I thought that was manageable and not so high that I would set myself up for failure.

I actually went over my goal and read 27 books. That might end up being 28 for 2014 since I’m currently reading one of my Christmas books.

I read a lot of articles and essays, too.

All but three of the books I read fall into the mystery/thriller category. I’m not sure what that says about me. Yes, I love mysteries. But maybe I needed some escape time, too.

Of the mysteries, 15 of them were by John Sandford. I discovered him last Christmas, and as you can guess, I found his stories captivating.

Here are the three nonfiction books I read:

The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness. By Elyn R. Saks.

Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. By Palmer J. Parker.

Blush: A Mennonite Girl Meets the Glittering World. By Shirley Hershey Showalter.

I’m not sure yet what number of books I will set as a goal for 2015, but it will be higher than 24 or even 27. And I hope to include more nonfiction books.

So there’s a quick overview of 2014, one that in no way reflects the complexity of life. I am glad to put 2014 behind me.

On Thursday, let’s talk about 2015.

Readers, what one word sums up your 2014?

A good day

A good day is not the one where the exciting things happen.

A good day for me is a quiet one, with some work, some reading. My husband is doing his own good things, but we come together for a meal and a walk, and always, talk.

That is the start of a guest post that I wrote for Shirley Hershey Showalter, writer and memoirist and blogger friend. I have learned so much from Shirley as she considers how to make a good life. I treasure her quiet wisdom.

Shirley is exploring what makes “a good day.” Everyone probably has a different idea of what a good day is. She invited me to share my version of a good day.

Shirley is the author of Blush: A Mennonite Girl Meets a Glittering World. It is a lovely memoir about growing up in a Mennonite community in Pennsylvania and learning to connect the way she grew up with the “big life” she wanted to live. I put this book on my Christmas list last year, and it is now a treasured addition to my bookshelves.

I invite you to read the guest post HERE and consider what makes up a good day for you. And read more about Shirley and check out her book. You will not be disappointed!

What ingredients are part of a good day for you?

Protective factors and making it through life

My view from the front steps of my office building on a recent evening.

Do you ever wonder how you got from your childhood to where you are now in one piece?

I get emails from people who have found my blog and want to know more about how I deal with OCD and/or depression and anxiety.

I am not a medical expert or a therapist. I am a person who has mental illnesses. I try to share my experiences with different treatments and different ways that I have dealt with OCD, depression, and anxiety.

It still surprises me, though, that I seem like someone who has reached a place where I can be of help to anyone else. Like someone who has a good life in spite of having mental illnesses and setbacks along the way.

Believe me, I have not overcome all the obstacles that mental illnesses cause. I’m still trying to figure out who I am.

But I have managed to build a good life.

What helped me do that?

Despite some difficult times during my childhood and teen years, I had the benefit of protective factors.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines protective factors this way:

“Protective factors are individual or environmental characteristics, conditions, or behaviors that reduce the effects of stressful life events. These factors also increase an individual’s ability to avoid risks or hazards, and promote social and emotional competence to thrive in all aspects of life, now and in the future.” 

The CDC lists the protective factors of school connectedness, parent engagement in schools, and positive parenting practices. There are more, of course.

Recently, I’ve written about two parts of my life that I define as protective factors for me. I had people in my life—whether related to me by blood or not—who helped to nurture me and encourage me as a young person.

And I had books that taught me and inspired me.

Knowledge about protective factors comforts me.

As a young person, I had help in several forms that led me to eventually get treatment, begin thinking in different and healthier ways, and start living the life that I wanted to live.

All of that help didn’t have to come from the ones we think must provide it, our parents.

We all have protective factors that help counteract the bad times in life. We can celebrate and nurture those factors.

I wasn’t alone as a child. I’m not alone now.

And neither are you.

So how did I make it from childhood to where I am now in one piece? With a lot of help along the way.

What are some of the protective factors in your life?

How books saved my life

The library in Altavista. Our county has four branches.

Does that title seem like an exaggeration? Over the top? Maybe.

Books didn’t literally save my life. A pile of books didn’t literally keep me from dying.

But they helped me survive mentally. I got through a lot of trying times because of books, especially when I was a child.

Books made me feel secure. I read some books over and over, so they were familiar to me.

I suppose they were an escape, too, from tension that was sometimes in the house, from anxiety and fear.

The real thing books did for me was to show me the world. I learned that other people lived different lives from me. I learned how other people treated each other. I was inspired to live a different life.

I visited the county library quite often, along with the school library.

I loved walking up and down the aisles of the county library. For a while, I stuck to the area holding the juvenile books, but gradually I started looking at the books in the other sections.

The librarian, Mrs. Guthrie, seemed to be able to identify every book in the place. She knew where every book was and whether or not I might like it.

Here were some of my favorites:

*Trixie Belden books

*The Betsy-Tacy books by Maud Hart Lovelace

*A Gift of Magic by Lois Duncan

*Jane-Emily by Patricia Clapp

*Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume

*Rosamond du Jardin books featuring the characters Pam and Penny Howard and Tobey Haydon

*Encyclopedia Brown books

*Books featuring the Tuckers (Tina, Terry, Merry, Penny, and Tom) by Jo Mendel

*Nancy Drew books

*Robin Kane books

*A biography of Amelia Earhart that I read over and over

*Sherlock Holmes stories

I had such a good time working back through my memories, remembering the books I read as a young person. Now I want to read them again.

Chase Bird seems to like reading, too. We're now reading "Personal," by Lee Child.

What books did you read as a child? And if you have children, what are they reading?

Gardening, knitting, books, and hints of fall

Hello, dear readers. I’m finishing up the week with a hodgepodge of things that I’ve been doing and observing:

Our garden is just about over for the summer. Larry picked these cucumbers and peppers Thursday morning.

We were disappointed that the tomatoes didn’t do well. We also didn’t get any broccoli or fully-grown carrots. But we learned some things that we’ll put to good use next year.

***

The scarf I started knitting has morphed into a kitty blanket. I started out with a width that I thought was manageable and suitable for a scarf. But I quickly found that it’s almost too wide to keep on my needles.

I also discovered that it’s the right width for Chase Bird’s kitty bed that sits under the sofa table in the living room.

So it will be a soft blanket for Chase Bird to lie on.

***

Last weekend I read an excellent book by Elyn Saks: The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness.

Saks is a law professor at the University of Southern California and has many more professional accomplishments.

In her book, she writes about her life with schizophrenia and how she built a life with work, friends, and love while battling it.

I didn’t want to put the book down. It was hard to read in places—she describes her psychosis with honesty and detail—but the way she fought through it to a good life is amazing and inspirational.

If you enjoy memoirs, you will enjoy this book.

***

We’re already seeing some acorns from the oak trees in the front yard. I’m so glad to see them. I hope we have a good crop this year for the animals. And I hope fall weather is not too far away.

This week’s weather in Central Virginia gave us a taste of fall—daytime temperatures in the 70s and low-mid 80s and some of the nights dipping into the 50s. I love fall, and I can’t wait for it to arrive.

But hotter weather is returning next week. Oh, well. Soon.

One thing about this time of year I don’t enjoy: allergies. I’m allergic to ragweed, and apparently, it has arrived. Itchy eyes, sneezing, sniffling—you get the idea.

Are there any signs of fall where you live? Do you even want to think about it? And what have you been up to this week?

7 ways to cope in times of overwhelming anxiety

If you’ve read my blog posts this week, you know that it has been a very anxious time of late.

But even during the bad times, we can still learn or be reminded of what we’ve learned in the past.

I decided right away that I was not going to get down. And I took some steps in self-care that I believe helped me navigate new territory.

Before I go into those, though, I want to thank you for your kind words, your understanding, your caring, and your presence. Thank you so much, dear readers, for supporting me during a bad time, for reminding me that I am not alone.

And I can’t say enough about my husband. His quiet presence and his open heart are treasures for which I can never be grateful enough.

Here are some of the ways I’ve coped:

Fun reading

I’ve divided reading into two categories. The first one I call fun reading. It’s reading that you don’t “need” to do. It’s not meant for self-improvement. It’s for entertainment, enjoyment. It’s for fun.

During times when I didn’t want to think about any real-life problems, it was a pleasure to turn to reading mysteries. I read Storm Prey, by John Sandford (one of my favorites).

Now I’m reading a book called The Faithful Spy, by new-to-me author Alex Berenson. It’s wonderful. And I’ve found a new author to follow.

Helpful reading

This kind of reading is for self-improvement, though, of course, enjoyment is also part of the experience.

I got out my copy of Mindfulness for Beginners, by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I previously studied part of the book, but never finished. I started over and have gained a lot of insight into the ways our minds work and the relationship between our thoughts and reality.

Mindfulness meditation

I turn to mindfulness meditation when I try to focus my thoughts. I increased my practice in order to deal with the swirl of thoughts and feelings that were negatively affecting my moods and quality of life.

Right now I am using the CD that came with the book by Kabat-Zinn I wrote of above. It’s helpful for me right now to have a voice leading me into the meditation.

Writing

Writing is so natural for me, something I turn to in just about every situation. I wrote down some of the thoughts I had that scared me, that made me feel especially sad and guilty. A lot of what I wrote will probably never see the light of day. But just getting the words down gave them a safe place to rest, out of my constant thoughts.

Music

I’ve had a difficult time falling asleep lately. I’ve found that listening to certain music helps quiet my mind.

For times when I’m trying to relax, it’s better for me to listen to instrumental music with no words.

My favorites are Lifescapes’ “Meditations: Native American Flute” and Yoga Journal’s “Pure Relaxation.”

Visualization

I started doing this almost by accident and found that it helped me relax.

While listening to one song on “Pure Relaxation,” I started visualizing being on a boat in the ocean, right at sunset. It was almost like I was watching a movie that I was adding details to. I imagined Larry and me on the boat, the wind blowing our hair. I could see the lights on shore. The stars were starting to come out. It was a beautiful time.

With the next song, I imagined being in a cabin at night with Larry and Chase Bird. Snow was falling. We sat in chairs by the fire, reading. Then we turned off the lights so we could see the snow falling outside. Chase Bird sat on my lap for a while, then on Larry’s. We were quiet and at peace.

Now when I hear those songs, I am immediately in those places, either on the boat or in the cabin. I have found myself smiling in the dark as I visualize.

Playing with my cat

You knew I would mention Chase Bird, didn’t you? Playing with him takes me out of myself. I laugh at his antics and stay busy chasing the toy that he bats back with amazing strength and agility.

Chase Bird guarding the treat bags that he knocked off the table.

What ways do you cope with overwhelming anxiety? Please share.

Mid-week thoughts during vacation

I am hitting the middle part of my week off from the newspaper, but I’m trying not to focus on it. Vacation weeks always fly by, don’t they?

It was really nice on Tuesday not to be laying out pages and reviewing copy at the newspaper. I like my job, but it’s nice to get a respite now and then from a day that is usually very stressful.

I’ve been doing some editing work. I enjoy the editing process so much, and it’s nice working from home.

I’ve also been reading. I just finished Gone Girl, by Gillian Flynn.

Have you read it? What did you think?

I found it fascinating, frightening, troubling. It’s incredibly well- written, and I really didn’t want to put the book down.

But boy, the story itself is disturbing. I hope I never meet people like the main characters, Nick and Amy. Or if I’ve already met them, I hope I don’t learn anymore about them.

If I dream about the characters, which I sometimes do after I read a book, the dreams will actually be nightmares.

Yes, that disturbing. If a book can make me feel that way about the characters, I think the writer has done a good job.

On that note, here are a couple more photos to lift myself out of Nick and Amy’s world:

Have you ever read a book that, while it was excellent, had disturbing characters that stayed in your mind after you finished the book?

The Barbour Salad Bar

Last weekend, Larry and I went to a nearby greenhouse and bought tomato plants and pepper plants. We chose Better Boy and Roma tomatoes and jalapenos and a red and green pepper variety.

Larry went to another greenhouse Monday and bought Beefsteak tomatoes to add.

Tomato plants, with the cucumbers at the left end. You can see the watering pipes laid out.

Pepper plants.

I love the lettuce section.

Our garden is practically full now. We may plant something else in the open areas.

But about those open areas—Larry is now building boxes to put around those areas to try to keep out the critter that has been eating the radishes. We’re pretty sure it’s a groundhog, though we haven’t actually seen him in the garden, just in the yard.

So far, he or she hasn’t touched the onions or the peppers. I thought I would just pull up the radishes—they didn’t develop because I had them planted too close together. But I’m leaving them for the critter since he or she seems to like them. And maybe they will keep the critter away from the other plants.

One of the valves in the watering system.

Larry is also working on a watering system for the garden. It really wasn’t much of a chore to drag the hose out to the garden to water. But Larry likes to design and build things, so he tried his hand at this. I said, go for it. It’s fun for him to experiment, and it’s fun for me to see him have fun.

The Barbour Salad Bar.

I look at the garden and think: that’s a great salad bar.

In other news, it is finally vacation time. I am taking next week off from my newspaper job. I have some editing work to do, but I’ll be working at home and will still have time for some relaxation.

My birthday is also next week, so Larry bought me some books early. I have some Harlan Coben to try (I’ve never read any of his books), a C.J. Lyons book (another new author for me, and some John Sandford (love his books!) to enjoy. I get so excited about new books to read!

I will be so glad to have some time to catch my breath. And I’m looking forward to getting around to your blogs and catching up!

If you have a garden (vegetables or flowers), how is it going this year? Have you read any good books lately to recommend?

Rain and a groundhog

The trees, grass, and shrubs are incredibly green right now.

One

Rain, rain, rain. That’s what we’ve had nearly all day Thursday and part of the day Wednesday. As I write this Thursday night, it’s supposed to last until Friday morning. I don’t know how many inches we’ve gotten here at the house—we don’t have a rain gauge—but some areas were supposed to get up to four inches.

Two

A critter got into the radishes planted in the uncovered portion of the raised bed garden this week. I’m surprised it took this long.

Larry found critter footprints on the raised bed and on pipe he’s using to put in a watering system (more on that next week).

Apparently, it’s a groundhog. We saw one in the backyard Thursday, munching away on the grass and clover. I think he’s cute. Larry does not.

No, I didn’t get a picture. But if he sticks around, I may get another chance.

Three

Speaking of radishes, I apparently didn’t thin them soon enough and/or enough period, and they couldn’t grow. Lesson learned. Many more lessons to come, I’m sure.

Four

I’m reading a very good book called Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, by Parker J. Palmer.

My minister recommended Palmer’s books to me, so I ordered this one and started reading it Thursday.

I am already marking passages and realizing that this is one of those books I will want to read again and again.

It’s raising questions in me that I want to write about. Sometimes I figure things out best when I write.

Five

Tonight I’ll take photos for the newspaper at the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life event in Rustburg, our county seat. I’ll try to get photos of the opening walks for survivors and caregivers and candid photos of participants.

The Relay is certainly a good cause. So many people’s lives are affected by cancer in some way.

Take care, dear readers, and have a wonderful weekend!

Out the window

I’m sorry I missed posting on Wednesday this week.

I’ve been having some stomach problems, and on Monday I had to work part of the day from home because I felt so bad. Late nights working and lots to do for the newspaper, plus spring allergies, have me worn out.

I was off Thursday and am also off from the newspaper today, so I have been enjoying some restful time.

One

Happy May! May is one of my favorite months, and not just because my birthday comes along. Spring seems to fully settle in during May, and the trees are showing off their new green in earnest. I feel surrounded by new life.

Chase Bird watching.

Two

Chase Bird sometimes perches on top of the sofa in the living room and looks out the large window facing the backyard. I’m sure he sees things that I don’t.

I had to sneak to get the above photo of him. I “casually” walked over to the table and got out the camera without saying anything to him. I snapped off a few before he turned to look at me, wearing an expression of, “Again? Pictures again?”

A view of the backyard. The dogwoods are in front of Larry's shop and a tool shed. The raised bed garden is on on the right.

Three

Out the window, the yard is looking so pretty. I took the photos of the dogwoods and spirea over the past weekend.

We had a bit of a stumbling block as soon as the mowing season started. The riding lawn mower wouldn’t start, and it took the repair shop about two weeks to fix it.

The push mower isn’t the best, so for a little while, a yard was looking a little raggedy.

I would love to make more of the backyard into gardening areas, partly to cut down on the parts that need mowing.

A closer look at the dogwoods silhouetted against the other trees.

Spirea in the backyard.

Four

I met my minister for coffee this morning and we had a nice talk. I haven’t been attending church—for a variety of reasons, mostly from inertia.

But he’s so good about taking time to discuss spiritual and theological questions with me and is accepting of my doubts. He also knows about my OCD and how that has affected my spiritual life.

I want to get back to church, though. It helps me to focus on what’s important to me.

Five

Last weekend I finished the latest Nevada Barr book, Destroyer Angel, featuring her character, Anna Pigeon. Anna works for the National Park Service, and most of Barr’s books take place in a national park.

The books are not formulaic, though. They’re well written, and Anna is a well-rounded character who loves animals and nature. I find that I have a lot in common with her.

Barr’s books are wonderful. She’s the only author I’ve read whose writing about frightening situations has made me scared to turn the page.

Have you read anything good lately?

My weekend and habits

Sunday was a rainy day, but I wanted to get some pictures of the daffodils anyway.

The daffodils that came with the house—we didn’t plant them—are at the edge of the yard where the woods begin. They bloom every year and are an early reminder that spring has arrived.

I haven’t taken pictures of anything lately. On Saturday night, as I planned the next day out loud, I mentioned getting some photos of the flowers. Larry reminded me that it was supposed to rain.

I’ll go out before the rain, I said.

Sunday morning I slept in, and it was raining before I finished my shower and got dressed. I decided I wasn’t going to change my plans.

I held the camera close to my body and shielded it the best I could. The rain wasn’t coming down hard. It didn’t feel like a gentle spring rain, though, because the air had a cold bite to it. Winter hasn’t fully let go.

I got my photos of the flowers, and then came inside. I left my camera sitting out of its case, letting any dampness evaporate.

One reason I didn’t want the rain to get in the way of my plans was because I’ve been letting too much get in the way of my plans lately. Procrastination and lack of motivation—are they the same? Whatever they are, they’ve been visiting me lately. Again.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I sometimes struggle with procrastination. It’s not fun. So I do what I can to fight it. I try to get one thing done. Then another. Then another. Step by step.

I also try to remember what I did experience. I didn’t do a lot of work this weekend. But the weekend held inspiration and love.

Larry and I attended the funeral of the former mayor of our town, our Rudy Burgess that I wrote about last week. It was a sad event, of course, and also a spiritually uplifting one. As I said last week, Rudy was a person who inspires me to be better.

Larry and I spent some fun time together watching basketball. Sunday’s Virginia game was the focus, but we got interested in a couple of other games over the weekend. It’s funny how you can know nothing about the two teams playing, and yet you pick out a favorite and cheer for them like you’re a real fan.

I finished reading a good book, Mad River, by John Sandford.

And I got my pictures of the daffodils.

What did you experience this weekend?

A Truly Random “Random 5 Friday”

It’s Friday, so I’m joining Nancy of A Rural Journal for Random 5 Friday.

One

When I told my editor at the newspaper about my sledding adventure, he asked me to write a first-person account of it for this week’s paper. We rarely do anything like that, but he thought it would be fun for readers.

If you’d like to read the article, you can click HERE.

Two

Last week when it was snowing, I went to English Park, which is along the Staunton River in Altavista and found these ducks.

Three

Back at the house, I found these tracks in the snow outside Larry’s shop. Can you tell what animal they belong to?

Four

I was at the newspaper office on Wednesday, working at my desk. My cell phone was in my pocket. Suddenly, the phone sounded a shrill and very loud alarm. Simultaneously, my co-workers’ cell phones did the same thing.

It was an AMBER alert. A little girl in another part of Virginia had gone missing.

Thankfully, the little girl was found in less than an hour after the alert went out.

The alarm may frighten you the first time you hear it, but I’m so glad such alerts are in place to help.

Five

I’m reading another mystery/thriller by John Sandford. It’s called Rough Country and features a character named Virgil Flowers. It’s very well-written and a great read, too.

But as I’m reading it, I’m also studying the structure and how the mystery flows. I hope such study will help my own writing as I tackle the mystery writing process.

I am taking next week off from blogging. I need some time for rejuvenation. I will be back on March 3. Blessings to all of you, dear readers!

My collection

I recently cleaned out my basket of bookmarks and sifted through them, remembering where they came from, remembering some that I had forgotten I had.

I don’t collect many different things. I suppose it’s no surprise that the thing that I collect most is closely connected to one of my favorite activities: reading.

I’ve been collecting bookmarks for most of my adult life. I don’t know when I started or when I decided that I was formally collecting them.

But I’ve ended up with over 40 bookmarks.

I probably collected most of them in the 1980s and 1990s. Some I bought myself. The rest were gifts from thoughtful friends.

I find that I have a few that I use more than others. Some I’m afraid of bending too much. Some I’m afraid of losing. But I think all of them have been used at some time.

Note: These photos are not very good. I had a hard time with the lighting and focus. But you'll get the idea.

My pile of bookmarks.

Being a cat person, I have a number of cat themed bookmarks.

The kitty third from the left looks so much like our Sam.

I bought this one at a wine festival I attended a couple of years ago. I love how her tail makes part of the clip.

I bought this one on a trip to Tennessee.

A former co-worker gave this to me when I left the health department over six years ago.

A good friend from grad school sent me this bookmark years ago. It’s one of my favorites.

Reading may not make me look beautiful, but it makes life beautiful.

The Cat Woman and Book Woman bookmarks below describe me perfectly, don’t you think?

Yes, I am a Cat Woman.

Yes, I am a Book Woman.

I have bought some bookmarks because I just thought they were pretty.

I love the light through the blue and green glass.

Some of my bookmarks have messages on them.

A friend gave this to me one Easter.

I like this advice.

Some bookmarks are just fun.

Curious George! 

I keep my bookmarks in a basket on top of the bookcase in the den.

I bought some blank bookmark cards. I’m going to try to make some of my own.

Do you collect anything? If so, what do you collect?