Celebrating

After a week of rain on and off, the sun shone this Saturday and Sunday and temperatures were in that lovely range of 50s and 60s. In other words, we enjoyed some glorious fall days.

It was also Larry’s birthday weekend.

In celebration of his special day and my slowly easing pain from the pinched nerve (fingers crossed!), we spent some time outside enjoying the blue sky, the changing leaves, and the air that just feels fresher somehow.

Saturday night, we drove to Gretna, a nearby town, to have dinner at J.T.’s at the Lavalette. The house was built in the 1880s, with additions constructed in the 1920s.

It’s a lovely old house that now provides an excellent place to enjoy good food among the best things about old houses: huge windows, eleven fireplaces, hardwood floors, high ceilings, and a wide, wrap-around porch.

The Lavalette House before dark.

The Lavalette House after dinner, with darkness setting in.

Sunday, we traipsed around outside our house and in English Park, down by the Staunton River.

Larry at the end of the driveway, getting the paper out of the box.

These trees are in our neighbor's yard. I like the red and yellow so close together.

 

These red leaves are on one of the oak trees in our front yard.

Looking across the Staunton River.

We made a lot of noise as we walked over the leaves carpeting the ground beside the river.

A view of the river between the trees.

An Eagle Scout planted an orchard in the park as part of the steps he took to become an Eagle.

The sign explains the purpose of the orchard. It includes apple, pear, and plum trees.

What have you been celebrating lately?

Random memories and thoughts

See the two red spots? Those are cardinals. That is about the best I can do with bird photos.

I was sad to learn of the passing of Maya Angelou on Wednesday. I admired her a great deal.

In thinking about her, I got out my copy of her poem, “On the Pulse of Morning,” which she wrote for and read at Bill Clinton’s first inauguration in January 1993.

I was teaching English at the time. I videotaped her reading and used it in class to aid in discussing the poem with my students.

Here’s a lovely part of that poem:

"Here, root yourselves beside me.

I am that Tree planted by the River,

Which will not be moved.

I, the Rock, I, the River, I, the Tree

I am yours--your passages have been paid.

Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need

For this bright morning dawning for you.

History, despite its wrenching pain,

Cannot be unlived, but if faced

With courage, need not be lived again."

From "On the Pulse of Morning," by Maya Angelou

***

It has been rainy and stormy off and on this week. I hope Larry and I will be able to be out and about a bit today.

I also need to check in more with my garden and see if there’s anything ready to eat!

***

I love my times of sitting quietly, listening to my breath and to the sounds around me. Sometimes I get uncomfortable—physically uncomfortable, bored, distracted. But in the end, I feel better after even a 10-minute meditation. It helps with intrusive thoughts and makes me feel less anxious.

***

I started updating my blog information since I’m gaining a year today (I am turning 51 today). I decided to leave my age off the About Me section. I’m not ashamed of it, but I don’t think that’s the first thing people are interested in knowing.

I found that I needed to update other pages, too, including the page about my cats. It hurt to have to change it to reflect that Larry and I don’t have two cats anymore. The last time I updated that page, Sam was still with us. I miss her, and all my babies, so much.

***

I’ve been thinking about my life (yes, I’m a thinker). I know it is in part due to my birthday. I suppose getting older makes many of us think about the past and wonder about the future.

Some of what I’ve been pondering is what I really want to say with my writing. I love to write and, I say with gratefulness, I can write well enough, though there’s plenty of room for improvement. But what do I want to say? What do I want to say?

***

And where in the world did May go?

50 things I’ve learned in 50 years of living

Turning 50 got my attention. I’m solidly middle-aged now. I’m half a century old.

Birthday flowers from Larry.

For me, this month has been a time of looking back and looking forward. I’m excited about the future, and I’m grateful that I’ve made it this far.

Birthday cake.

I started thinking about what I’ve learned so far in life and then began putting together a mental list of those things.

I decided to write them down and share them with you. And since I’ve lived 50 years, I thought I’d make a list of 50 things.

There’s no great wisdom here. This list doesn’t constitute everything I’ve learned (I hope), and I’m sure I’ve left out some important life lessons. But I thought it would be a fun exercise to try to quantify what I’ve learned over the years.

So here, not in order of importance, are 50 things I’ve learned in 50 years of living:

1: You are not helpless.

2: You may not be able to control anything else, but you can control your attitude.

3: It’s important to hold on to every shred of hope we can.

4: There’s always something new to learn.

5: You don’t have to answer the phone just because it rings.

6: You cannot stop a riding lawnmower by using your foot on the ground as a brake.

7: Not everyone will like you.

8: It’s OK that not everyone will like you.

9: Having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.

10: Taking medication for a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.

11: The closest distance between two points is a straight line.

12: Libraries are vital to communities.

13: Gray hair is not ugly.

14: Every creature, every living thing, has a part to play.

15: Animals can save our lives.

16: If a cat’s ears are laid back and she is rapidly switching her tail, don’t try to pet her.

17: One of the hardest things to do is to forgive, either someone else or yourself.

18: Sometimes a good cry is what you need.

19: Doing your best is not the same thing as trying to be perfect.

20: You don’t know what another person is thinking unless he or she tells you.

21: Sometimes it’s best to not say anything.

22: We all make mistakes. All of us.

23: It’s natural to feel nervous about trying something new.

24: Find the balm for your soul, whether it’s prayer, poetry, music, whatever—and keep it close.

25: Listening to someone else can be a gift to that person.

26: You do not have to hang out with people who try to make you feel less than you are.

27: Everyone has burdens.

28: Uncertainty is hard to accept, but it’s freeing when you do, even for a moment.

29: Just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean you have to spend time with them.

30: Put gas in your car once it drops below half a tank.

31: It’s OK if you don’t like the same book/movie/TV show that everyone else likes.

32: Good manners can make a world of difference.

33: You are never too old to find a way to do what is important to you.

34: Remind yourself of your priorities every day.

35: Even if you’re not good at a game/sport/activity, if you’re having fun, do it.

36: Don’t let the fear of what others will think be your guide.

37: Gossip is destructive.

38: Good will win.

39: Sometimes it’s best to agree to disagree.

40: Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

41: Every situation can teach you something.

42: Don’t wish your time away.

43: If you’re angry with someone, don’t send them an email until you’ve calmed down.

44: Sometimes it’s good to remember that it’s not all about you.

45: You’re not responsible for the happiness of others, and they’re not responsible for yours.

46: Accept compliments graciously.

47: Be kind to others and to yourself.

48: Festering wounds have to be dealt with.

49: Don’t put yourself down, and don’t listen to anyone who tries to put you down.

50: Being grateful can have an amazing effect on your mood and outlook.

What’s one thing that you’ve learned that you’d like to share?

About birthdays and turning 50

   I’m writing about an upcoming milestone birthday for my Random 5 Friday this week.

I’ve got some trepidation about getting older, but I’m not moaning and groaning about it. I’m grateful for the time I’ve had and for the time I have left.

Random 5 Friday is a weekly meme started by Nancy at A Rural Journal. Link up and join in if you’d like—it’s fun!

One

I will turn 50 years old next Thursday. I have truly mixed feelings about it. I usually enjoy my birthdays and don’t mind getting older. I see a birthday as a new beginning, a new phase. This time, I am not sure. I’m a bit unsettled about it.



Me at age 10.



Two

I remember my mother saying she didn’t mind turning 40. But when 50 came around, it was jarring for her. I remember her saying that my father asked her, “How does it feel to be a half-century old?”

That was almost 36 years ago. Now I’m turning a half-century old. Wow. I can’t quite wrap my head around that.



Me at 26.



Three

I didn’t mind turning 40 either. It was kind of fun, and funny. And 40 really was a new beginning for me. I was planning my marriage to Larry when I turned 40. We got married the November after my birthday in May.

Me and Waddles when I was 40.

Four

It’s not that I want to go back in time. My favorite age is always my current age. I wouldn’t be 20 again, or 30, or even 40 again for anything. I’m healthier, smarter about life, more sure about myself now than I have ever been. That’s a perk of my getting older.

Five

I do have a sense that I should have accomplished more in life by now. But I try to just let those thoughts float on down the river.

My dreams are still going strong on the cusp of 50. I’ve got a lot of writing to do. I’ve got my freelance editing to start. I’ve got a lot of healing left to experience, a lot of spiritual growth to work towards. I’ve got a lot of things to do for others. I’ve got growing older with Larry to look forward to. I’ve still got a lot of living left to do.

What has been your favorite age so far? What do you like about getting older?

Beginning my 50th year

Today I turn 49 (I’ve already updated my blog profile to reflect the new age).

I don’t mind birthdays. In fact, I like them. I like turning a new age. It’s like turning over a new leaf for me.

I think I’m wiser today than I ever was at 19 or 29 or 39. I wouldn’t want to go back. I’m happy with where I am now at 49.

As I face turning 50 next year, I see it as an opportunity to get some parts of my life in better order. So I have been writing down some goals over the last several days, some things I want to get better at and some things I want to accomplish by the time I turn a half-century old.

Me as I begin my 50th year.

In doing this, however, I don’t want to look forward to turning 50 so much that I forget about now. I just want to begin a process of mindfully trying to improve my health in all areas.

So here are some things that I’m going to be working on over the next year and will continue to work on even after I turn the big 5-0.

I will be more specific about these as time goes on, so bear with me if what I write seems to be too general.

My physical health

I’m in pretty good health. I have asthma and high blood pressure, but I handle those pretty easily.

A special concern of mine is that I have a family history of stroke. My father had a major, disabling stroke when he was just 54, and my mother has had several strokes.

I know I need to take better care of my health now for better outcomes in the future.

Exercise, nutrition and stress relief will be part of my ongoing plan of action.

My mental health

I haven’t yet discussed a specific timeline with my therapist, and I know it’s hard to predict how quickly therapy will move forward, but I hope to be done with the CBASP therapy for the chronic depression and the CBT for the OCD in a year.

I’m talking about formal therapy here. I know I’ll continue to work with the techniques I’m learning for the rest of my life.

I want to focus on taking my medications properly, participating in therapy and studying and reading on my own.

I also want to add more fun and joy to my life. Or perhaps I should reword that. I want to recognize the things around me to be joyful about.

My spiritual health

I want to further develop my meditation practice and incorporate mindfulness more deeply into my everyday life.

I also want to be more in service to others. I want to more clearly understand my faith tradition while honoring other faith traditions.

I want to be at peace and be a source of peace.

I also want to be confident about my purpose, my work and my vocation.

My intellectual life

I want to keep learning until the day I die. I want to die with a book in my hands.

Who is this person?

Have I just described a perfect person? It sounds like it, doesn’t it? I fully realize that I probably will never reach the ultimate in any of these areas of health. My goal is to move forward, though. Keep moving forward and changing for the better.

The next year will also be a time for my husband and I to consider how we want to spend the rest of our lives. Larry is 15 years older than me. He’s already retired. We would like to have plenty of time to spend together as we get older. Figuring out how that would play out with me working or not working a formal job is an ongoing discussion.

Thus I begin my 50^th year. I am thankful that I’ve made it this far, and I’m looking forward to the future.

  What is your attitude towards birthdays—love them, hate them, somewhere in between? Do you have goals and plans for improving your health? Do you see your health as more than just physical health? If so, how?