Friday, June 28, 2013

The small things in life

This whole year I’ve been focusing on letting go of things that don’t do me any good.
I’ve found that in the process of working on that, I’ve become more aware of how much joy there is in the little things in life, the things I want to hold on to.
When the depressive lows hit or anxiety wreaks havoc, it’s hard to focus on the seemingly small but so important things in life. I’m learning, however, that those times are exactly the times when I need to focus on them.
So here’s a sampling of some of the small, random things in life I’ve been experiencing or thinking about. I’m linking up with Nancy at A Rural Journal.

One
I noticed this spider web set up on Larry’s old red truck the other afternoon and grabbed my phone to get a photo of it. I liked the intricacies of the web and the way the spider seemed to still be working on it.




Two
Lately I’ve been getting out my camera or my iPhone more and more to catch bits of nature or something I find interesting. It has become more important for me to record what I’m seeing in my everyday life.


Three
Larry and I discussed this the other day: I’ve lived in the South for all of my life except for five years in the Midwest. I sometimes wonder how Southern I am. For example, I was taught as a child to say “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am” or “yes, sir” and “no, sir” to my elders, including my parents, as a form of respect. Larry was taught the same, except he didn’t have to use those terms with his parents.
We still use those forms of courtesy with others, usually without thinking. But we know there are other ways and many ways to show respect.
Is the use of “ma’am” and “sir” just a Southern habit?


Four
Which brings me to Southern accents. I love hearing different accents. It’s so interesting to listen to people from different parts of the country and the world.
After a few years of living in Ohio, a lot of my Southern accent changed. My mother in Virginia said I had “an Ohio accent” whenever I answered the phone. My friends in Ohio noticed that I sounded more Southern after a visit to Virginia.
I’ve been back in Virginia for many years. But not too long ago someone said, “You don’t sound like you’re from around here.”
Hmmm. I guess I’m a hybrid of some sort.


Five
I’ve reached the point in the book I’m currently reading, Tripwire, by Lee Child, where I don’t want to put it down. The pieces of the mystery are starting to come together, and I’m anxious to have the whole puzzle fit together. I love that about reading a good mystery.
My love for mysteries started when I was a little girl. Sometimes I flipped to the back of the book to read the ending first, then enjoyed reading and slowly understanding how everything moved to that ending point.
I don’t ruin the ending for myself anymore. I enjoy the mystery from beginning to end.
Have you ever read the ending of a book first?



50 comments:

  1. I have skipped ahead in a book if there is too much tension and it's making me too nervous. Just to see if things will work out and then I can go back and read it the regular way.
    I wasn't taught to say "yes, ma'am" and "no, ma'am" etc, but my mom wasn't from the South. I lived in Georgia for a bit though and had a friend who was taught that way.

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    1. Kristina, once I was reading a book by Nevada Barr. It was so frightening I was literally too scared to turn the page for a moment. I had to laugh at myself, but I also thought--that's a pretty good writer to be able to scare the reader like that!

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  2. Hi Tina ~~ You have a nice five today. I like you spider web picture. It was nice that you got to see the spider working.

    “Yes, ma’am” is definitely Southern. Mrs. Jim says that to her elders but there aren't many of them left. When our daughter was born I declared that the only person she would ever have to say "sir" to would be the president and "Ma'am" to the Queen. Mrs. Jim would have none of that, she is Southern.

    Our four-year-old granddaughter has lived in London for three years now. She has a British accent. Search me blog for "KP" to see her.
    ..

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    1. Thanks, Jim. It sounds like Mrs. Jim was steeped in the type of thinking that I was about manners. It's hard to change! I love listening to a British accent.

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  3. My Dad read the end of books too, I grew up in B.C. Canada, we use 'ma'am and 'sir' tho I did not with parents, nor aunts or uncles.
    I love mysteries too, enjoy Lee Child. Staying focused on the small things, softens how I feel about the bigger scarey bits of life, the camera certainly helps.

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    1. Lynn, I adore Lee Child--I always enjoy his books.

      I love what you said about focusing on the small things, that it softens hwo you feel about the bigger and scary parts of life. That's something to remember. Thank you for sharing that.

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  4. Beautiful spiderweb capture and nope, don't read the ending first though I have been tempted to sometimes :)

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    1. Thanks, Debra. I don't read the ending first anymore, though like you, I get tempted sometimes when I just have to KNOW what's going to happen. :-)

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  5. I find that taking photos has been a big help in keeping me in the moment and really seeing the little things around me - it's wonderful. I grew up in the Midwest and have long since relocated to New England. I don't hear many maams or sirs around here. Living in both areas, I never picked up the Boston accent, but also lost most of my Midwestern twang. No matter where I go, people know I'm not from there. Have a great weekend - enjoy your camera!

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    1. Karen, I feel like that, too--that I don't sound like any one place very much.

      I agree that having a camera with me gets me noticing things that I wouldn't have normally noticed. I've been missing a lot! You have a nice weekend, too. :-)

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  6. Your question made me laugh in English class I rarely read the whole book I would read the first couple of chapters than a couple in the middle then the end, I always did very well in English and I have no idea why. I would make up the story as I went and it seemed to work:)Strange but true.
    Nature has always brought me joy and slowed me down by demanding my attention to every detail. Take care and have a nice weekend Tina.

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    1. Thanks, B. I chuckled at the thought of you skipping through the book and making up the story. You are such a wonderful storyteller and writer! I'm not surprised you did well in English class.

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  7. I think once you are southern you pretty much stay southern. I moved around the country with my navy husband for over 20 years and I'd pick up a little of the accents as we went from place to place. Then he retired and we went back to Alabama and my voice just turned SOUTHERN! Now that I am in Virginia it is still southern but with a different twang. You just never know which accent is coming out of my mouth!!!!

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    1. Latane, I think you're right--that southerness stays with you! My mother was born in southwest Virginia and lived there until she was about 10. Then she moved to the central part of the state with her family. So she has a mixture of accents, too. Some words one way, some another.

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  8. I am of the opinion that if I lived in the South for a week, I would pick up the accent. I'm like that. Right now, some think I'm from Minnesota or Pennsylvania if they hear me talk. I have no idea why. I was born in Texas. ;)

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    1. Nancy, It's funny sometimes what people think about us. When I lived in Ohio, some of my students thought I was from Georgia. They didn't realize how different a Georgia accent would be from a Virginia one. But I love the differences--makes life interesting and beautiful.:-)

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  9. I also adore a good mystery :-)

    “Ma’am” and “sir” are common here in KY too and I have have family in Michigan so I have been there a lot in my life and I don't recall those terms of respect being common there.

    "Honey" is really common here as a term of endearment to everyone whether they be old, young, man or woman. Everyone from salespeople to family use this term of endearment on strangers, friends and family alike. I call just about everyone in my family honey but don't use it on strangers. yet, many people are non-discriminate and use it on everyone.

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    1. Elizabeth, "honey" and similar terms are used a lot around here, too. I call family members honey sometimes. And it's not unusual at all for older people to call younger ones "honey" and "sweetie." There's a salesperson at a local store who calls everyone terms of endearment. It's really sweet because you can tell that it's as natural to her as breathing.

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  10. glad you are focusing on little joys - and yes, the camera really helps you continue to look. :)

    ma'am and sir are definitely part of military up-bringing / service, too.

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    1. Thanks, Theresa. The camera is like a microscope for me--a different way to look at the world.

      I work with a former Marine (if there's such a thing as a "former" Marine?) and he's big on ma'am and sir.

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  11. Hi Tina, lovely spiderweb! It's great that you are focusing on the small joys of life...they will be bigger and bigger to you as you focus more on them and you will feel more joy and peace. I am so proud of you! Oh, by all means, take your camera with you and look for things of interest and share them here, if you find solace in this. For myself, I find that taking my camera with me on my walks makes me actually look for the beauty around me, focusing on that, and then capturing it and sharing it with others.

    I find it wonderful that you are able to let go of things that are not doing you any good. It is also fantastic that you are replacing those things by focusing on the joy and beauty around you!

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    1. Thank you, Linda. Having a camera helps me look for the beauty, too. I always enjoy the photos that you share on your blog!

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  12. Hi Tina, I'm rather terrible because I'm very happy to read the end of a book, see the end of the movie, read the plot of the movie before I go see it and it doesn't seem to dampen my enthusiasm for reading , seeing, etc. So yes I do that all the time...lol. Oh, and accents are wonderful, aren't they? I have a neutral North American accent, but I live in England so much that I tend to English up before I return to Vancouver. Maybe it's more to do with my father being British and I tend to have a broader vocabulary, maybe it's not accent. Hmm, something to think about. You know, some accents in England are so extremely strange I sometimes look at Robert and ask, "was that English?" and he has to translate. Does that ever happen to you with American accents?
    Well, I hope you have a lovely weekend and it's been nice catching up with you again this week. :)

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    1. Thank you, Veronica. There's nothing wrong with reading the end of the book/seeing the end of the movie first if that makes you happy. It sounds like you enjoy the process of following the story. That's great!

      Yes, it happens with me with American accents. For example, I have relatives in southwest Virginia, and the accents are very different from what I'm used to. I love the rhythm of them, but sometimes I have to really focus to catch the words. It's worth it though.

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  13. Love the spiderweb! I enjoy finding little treats like that when I step out into the garden early in the morning. Keeping a camera at the ready is a great idea, and I wouldn't mind doing more of that.

    I had to chuckle when you talked about the accents. After decades of living in Houston, my family swore I had a Southern accent, but people in Houston said, "You're not from around here, are you?" I'm also a bit of a mimic, so I've recently picked up some Canadian expressions, eh?

    The "sir" and "ma'am" drove me nuts when I first moved to Houston. I was in my early 20s and people would call me ma'am, and it made me feel old. Someone had to explain the cultural difference to me. Now that I'm older, I don't mind being called ma'am, though I prefer the more elegant "madame." I don't get much of that, though!

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    1. Thanks, Nadine. I admit it feels kind of funny to be called ma'am, too. I don't think anyone has ever called me "madame"! :-)

      I went to grad school with a woman whose mother was Canadian, and she always used that expression--eh? I loved it.

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  14. I love the Southern habit of "yes, ma'am," etc! Wish we had it here in the Northwest. Your photo is great....I too, like finding little things in nature. And I sometimes go to the end of the book when it's dragging! I was tempted last night to do that with the book I'm reading!

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    1. Evelyn, thank you. The little things in nature are wonderful, aren't they? Usually it's my impatience to know what's going to happen that tempts me to turn to the end.

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  15. I love a good "down under" accent, gives me goose bumps!! Perhaps our picture taking is starting to rub off on you!?

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    1. Debbie, I expect there is a link between reading great blogs like yours and seeing your photos and me taking more photos. You seem to get so much enjoyment out of it, and it's a wonderful way to record daily life.

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  16. I was born in Shreveport, and then moved to Penn at a young age. So I learned to speak "east coast" when I went back to Shreveport, the adults thought I was a rude little child because I did not say Ma'am and sir.
    Yes it is a southern thing for sure!

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    1. Cindy, I'm sorry the adults thought you were rude! When I was growing up, my parents were really strict about using ma'am and sir, and my friends parents were, too. But I think children can be taught to show respect without using those terms. The attitude behind our words is more important, I think.

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  17. Lee Child's books are great! Love them. So suspenseful and smart. :)

    I have a Downeast Maine accent that i haven't lost in the almost 18 years my husband and i have lived in Oregon. We say pahk the cah... instead of park the car. lol. I guess we Mainers don't like 'Rs'

    I love your photo of the spider web. It's beautiful. I find that when i get absorbed in nature, my anxiety washes away. It's a great feeling. Have a wonderful weekend, Tina!

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    1. Thank you, Mary. I love Maine accents! I think it's great that you've held on to it.

      At one time I never would have thought twice about the spider web. I'm liking this focus on the small things. :-)

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  18. I'm a Lee Child fan too. I know exactly what you mean. Can't put the book down! Your comments about letting things go reminded me of another book I read this year that I enjoyed -- Love Does by Bob Goff. He regularly quits things to keep life from getting routine. Great book!

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    1. Sharon, I'm so glad I found Lee Child's books--they've provided me with lots of good reading! Thanks for the book recommendation by Bob Goff.

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  19. Love spider webs! (Just not in my house he he.)

    Oh yes, there is so much joy to be found in the little things. I've been trying so hard to focus on that as well.

    Well, I've been a lifelong New Englander and no "yes sirs, or yes ma'ams" here! Must be a southern manners type of thing.

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    1. Thanks, Sunny. I don't like the webs--or spiders--in my house, either!

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  20. Oh no. I never read the endings first!!

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    1. Lisa, as much as I like suspense in books, I'm surprised I did that when I was younger. :-)

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  21. sir and Ma'am are southern things. We don't say that here in new england. In fact when some one calls me ma'am it makes me feel old.

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    1. Kara, sometimes when I'm called ma'am here in the south, it makes me feel old. :-)

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  22. Oh no- never read the ending first- no way! Yes ma'am and No sir- I just view this as showing respect, and never thought about if it was a southern thing...but I was raised everywhere (military) but with southern parents...so you are probably right about that!

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    1. Terri, I didn't hear it when I lived in Ohio when I lived there. I guess people there thought I was strange for saying it. :-)

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  23. I can't say I have read the ending to a book first, although I have been tempted. Ah the little things, there is a lot to say for them, and it is wonderful how you are focusing more on them and letting go of the things that do you no good, I too am doing this. Like you, I also love the intricacies of a spider web, you caught a good shot of one. For a while I would carry my camera along to catch things that caught my eye, now that you mentioned it, I want to start doing it again. I have a big New York accent, people from other places catch it right away. As far as a southern accent, I love it, funny, I find that I try to sound southern often when I am in a very good mood, it's one of my things. Well, Tina once again an awesome post!

    Madison:)

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    1. Thanks, Madison. I love listening to New York accents! That's funny that you try to sound southern. No one would ever believe my New York accent. :-)

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  24. I wish I read more books, was more of a reader. I enjoy doing so many other things other than read but when I do read a book I enjoy it immensely. I have to work on letting go of things too. It's my perfectionism getting in the way for when I make mistakes. And then I beat myself up for it. I am working on something right now and it is so hard to not be upset with myself. Thanks for writing about these things I can really relate to.

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    1. Thanks, Patty. Perfectionism is a big problem for me, too. But it really doesn't do any good to beat up on ourselves, does it? It just makes us feel worse. Good luck on your project. You are so creative and artistic!

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  25. Grabbing your camera is a beautiful way to capture all those "little" things in your life. Sure helps me. I am originally from Texas, but have been gone for almost 50 years....but people still say I have an accent...always a Texan I guess. I NEVER turn to the end of a book, it's like "what's the point if you know the ending??" I am going to look at that book by Lee Child..I love a good suspenseful read!!

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    1. Thanks, Deanna. I think you will like Lee Child's books if you like suspense!

      You catch some beautiful sights with your camera. I love your flower photos.

      I guess those Texas accents just hang on! :-)

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