I am going to do it

I have decided to ask my psychiatrist to refer me to the doctor in the practice who does cognitive behavioral therapy. I want to try the exposure response prevention therapy.

I have written about my doubts over whether or not I needed such therapy, and I’ve gotten some really helpful comments on this blog.

I have also learned from those of you who write wonderful blogs about your own experiences with OCD. It seems that ERP therapy is helping many of you, and I want to experience some of that success.

I have been mulling over it, and it became clear to me this evening that I need the therapy.

I have been having periods of time lately when I have been a checking fiend.

For example, I stare at the lamps in my office at work to make sure they are “really” off until I think I must surely be going crazy.

And I know it’s the OCD! I have been doing things like this for most of my life. And I still feel like I’m going crazy.

Also, I have a nagging sense that OCD has negatively affected my life and is still affecting it in ways I don’t even realize.

I have reached a point in my life where I don’t want to be held back by OCD, anxiety or depression anymore. I want to better manage these conditions so that I accomplish what I am supposed to accomplish while I’m on this earth.

I may sound overly dramatic, but I am as serious as I’ve ever been about getting better and living life as fully as I can.

So, I see my doctor on Jan. 16, and I will get the ball rolling. In the meantime, I’ll get through the episodes as best I can.