Sleep lingers all our lifetime about our eyes, as night hovers all day in the boughs of the fir-tree. Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have a love-hate relationship with sleep.
I love to sleep. Taking naps is a favorite activity. Some days, I come home from work in the early evening, take a nap for two or three hours, get up for a few hours, and go right back to bed for more sleep.
On Saturdays, I like to sleep late and then take a long afternoon-into-evening nap. On Sundays, I look forward to another afternoon nap.
I love the chance to sleep.
But I hate that I want to sleep so much. I would be accomplishing more in my life if I didn’t sleep so much.
Sleep, that deplorable curtailment of the joy of life. Virginia Woolf
I hate that I can even think that napping is a favorite activity.
My husband doesn’t like me to sleep so much. He says he’d like for us to do more together, but I nap away every weekend, every day off from work.
I wasn’t always like this. I didn’t take naps even when I was in graduate school and was exhausted all the time. I didn’t have time for them.
But sometime in my early 30s, I started to love sleep.
It’s frustrating. I make plans to do so many things, but I find myself tired and sleepy, and I give in to it.
I don’t know how much of my craving for sleep comes from the medication I take and how much from habit.
My psychiatrist and I have tried to find a balance with two medications. It’s difficult to take an amount that enables me to have the motivation to not sleep and an amount that wires me.
Am I just lazy?
A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave. Benjamin Franklin
I don’t feel lazy. I have either been in school full time or worked full time my entire adult life, except for periods when I was unemployed and looking for work. I’m a hard worker on the job.
It’s when I’m off the job that I want to sleep. And I want to stop it.
I believe that it’s a combination of things that is causing my problem. Antidepressants are probably contributing, as are the medications for anxiety.
There are lifestyle changes that I need to make. I need to exercise regularly, get up at the same time every morning and have more of a routine of sleep.
But I think my problem is also connected to the OCD-related procrastination I have. If I am sleeping, I don’t have to deal with issues regarding cleaning, reading, writing, checking, etc. I don’t have to face things that I know will cause me anxiety.
I am not saying that I’m not responsible for my behavior. I am. I am just considering contributing factors.
I am hoping that I will be adding more tools to my toolbox to fight the OCD. I’ll be starting cognitive behavioral therapy a week from today. I have to get serious about making lifestyle changes. And I have to push myself more than I am now to break through the procrastination.
I’m the only one that can do it. I need to make this change in my life.
Do you have problems with too much sleep? How do you combat it?