As I write this, I’m listening to “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” play on the TV in the next room. I watched the movie Saturday, but I had missed the beginning. When the movie started again this evening, I watched the beginning, and then left it on in the background.
It’s a really good movie. It’s about a group of British people who retire to India to a hotel that doesn’t quite meet their expectations. In fact, the whole country and culture of India doesn’t meet the expectations of some in the group, and the movie follows their individual efforts at adapting and learning to enjoy their new world.
I enjoy movies like this, that show people learning to make peace with their age, becoming invigorated by new experiences, finding lives that makes them feel whole and content.
I want to feel like that: whole and content. But I have some work to do first.
It has been a quiet weekend, a quiet few days. I missed work Thursday because of a bad cold and cough, and then was off work Friday for the Good Friday holiday. I’ve spent much of the past few days asleep, knocked out by the cold itself and the cough medicine.
I find myself this Sunday evening feeling out of sorts and a bit depressed. I know some of that comes from feeling physically under the weather. But some of it is coming from a sense of dissatisfaction with myself.
In “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” there is one character that refuses to try to enjoy her new country. She stays in the hotel and complains incessantly about what others see as challenges and opportunities to experience new beauty.
I wonder, would I be that character if I were in her position? Would I refuse to leave the hotel, refuse to experience new things, and refuse to love my new life?
I hope not. But here I am on a Sunday night, dreading Monday and its work, fearing the routine that starts anew.
I’ve made commitments to live a full life despite my OCD and depression. I have a vision and mission to live a certain way. Why, then, am I still mired down in the day-to-day fears? Why am I not living intentionally? Why am I not moving forward?
I hope this time of introspection will lead to more action on my part. To help ensure that, I’m planning on doing the following over the next few days:
*Meditate and pray
*Write: journaling, listing, planning
*Spend time with nature
I hope to report positive things soon.
Do you ever feel stuck, like you’re not moving forward? How do you handle it?