As I write this, I’m listening to “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” play on the TV in the next room. I watched the movie Saturday, but I had missed the beginning. When the movie started again this evening, I watched the beginning, and then left it on in the background.
It’s a really good movie. It’s about a group of British people who retire to India to a hotel that doesn’t quite meet their expectations. In fact, the whole country and culture of India doesn’t meet the expectations of some in the group, and the movie follows their individual efforts at adapting and learning to enjoy their new world.
I enjoy movies like this, that show people learning to make peace with their age, becoming invigorated by new experiences, finding lives that makes them feel whole and content.
I want to feel like that: whole and content. But I have some work to do first.
It has been a quiet weekend, a quiet few days. I missed work Thursday because of a bad cold and cough, and then was off work Friday for the Good Friday holiday. I’ve spent much of the past few days asleep, knocked out by the cold itself and the cough medicine.
I find myself this Sunday evening feeling out of sorts and a bit depressed. I know some of that comes from feeling physically under the weather. But some of it is coming from a sense of dissatisfaction with myself.
In “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” there is one character that refuses to try to enjoy her new country. She stays in the hotel and complains incessantly about what others see as challenges and opportunities to experience new beauty.
I wonder, would I be that character if I were in her position? Would I refuse to leave the hotel, refuse to experience new things, and refuse to love my new life?
I hope not. But here I am on a Sunday night, dreading Monday and its work, fearing the routine that starts anew.
I’ve made commitments to live a full life despite my OCD and depression. I have a vision and mission to live a certain way. Why, then, am I still mired down in the day-to-day fears? Why am I not living intentionally? Why am I not moving forward?
I hope this time of introspection will lead to more action on my part. To help ensure that, I’m planning on doing the following over the next few days:
*Meditate and pray
*Write: journaling, listing, planning
*Read
*Spend time with nature
I hope to report positive things soon.
Do you ever feel stuck, like you’re not moving forward? How do you handle it?
My husband and my daughter are a little ocd...not quite to the extent that you describe on your MY OCD page. But, my husband always checks several times on the stove and the lights....and he constantly goes over things we need to do the next day. My daughter has to have everything in a certain place and gets angry if it is out of place. She used to get mad at me when I put her clothes up in her closet because she had them color coordinated. I do understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI dread going to work every day, too. I would rather stay in one job than to move up. I recently applied for a job just to aggrivate my boss, and she gave me the job. Now I dread going to the classes to learn it...dread it so bad I would like to quit.
Thank you for your comment. I, too, prefer to stay in the job I'm at and not move up. I just feel rather stuck in my day-to-day life and feel the need to move forward to some areas of my life. Good luck on learning the new job--I hope you enjoy it after all!
DeleteKnow what you mean, there are some days I'm doing good just to get out of bed in the morning. Yes, I have called in sick before (just a couple times)... and feeling guilty because in my mind when someone calls into work sick, it's because they have a cold. Guess I should consider those times as: calling in mentally ill with severe depression. There's just not a trust factor in telling anyone there the real reason.
ReplyDeleteBecky, I don't like calling in sick, but my cough was so bad last week, I felt like it was OK. When my depression is at its worst, it's really hard to get up in the morning and go through the tasks of the day. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteI honestly feel that not moving forward isn't always a bad thing if you're content. I think it only becomes unhealthy if you're not content. Just my opinion. Some people are perfectly happy where they are and that's ok :)
ReplyDeleteI agree, Keith. Being content is the key. I just feel like I need to move forward in some areas of my life because I'm not satisfied with where I am, like my spiritual life, my writing, my use of time, etc. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteIt is on my to do list to take a meditation class. I need it. I saw that movie last week as well. I don't know how much I would enjoy a hotel that is a work in progress. But I love to travel. There is nothing better than new experiences.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Sharon. I've never taken a meditation class, just read books about it. I think a class would be helpful to me, though. I don't know how well I would operate in a hotel like the one portrayed in the movie. But I would hope I would have at least a little adventure.
DeleteFeel better soon, Tina.
ReplyDeleteI know the character you speak of and I would be her! My Mom and I saw this movie in the theater when it first came out and my Mom was really identifying with the Judi Dench character and I was really identifying with the one you mentioned (can't think of her name)! I would totally give my last penny to get back to England LOL
P.S. My Dad is Indian and from the North of India. Strangely, I have never had an interest in going there.
Thank you, Elizabeth. I liked Judi Dench's character. She was probably my favorite. I think I would probably want to turn around and go home, too, if I ended up in a hotel like the Best Exotic Marigold. But I would hope that I would venture out more than that character (I think she was portrayed by Penelope Wilton?) did and try to enjoy myself. I would love to visit India.
DeleteDo I ever feel stuck? Oh my goodness, YES! Sometimes I think of where I THOUGHT I'd be by this age and where I actually am and get frustrated.
ReplyDeleteThen, like you, I make a list. :-)
Jackie, when in doubt, make a list! :-) Yep, it's a good way sometimes to jolt ourselves out of that stuck feeling. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteI hope that you start feelingbetter soon.
ReplyDeleteI have heard great things about that movie.
Thanks, Lisa. I think you would enjoy the movie. Lots of great characters.
DeleteHaving a cold sucks, and I hope you start getting stronger soon. I think that some of your sense of discontent will lift as you recover.
ReplyDeleteThat said, my experience is that even when we are living fully and intentionally, we're going to have these moments of discontent. I don't think it means you're not moving forward. What if it means that your discontent is guiding you to your next step? Often it's discontent, depression, or frustration that propels us to where we need to be...so I would suggest having some tea with that feeling and ask it what it's trying to tell you.
BTW, I can't seem to comment under my name and URL anymore. Did something change? -- Nadine
Thank you, Nadine. I love the idea of asking my discontent what it's trying to tell me. I think I'm going to literally do that over a cup of tea this evening!
DeleteI have been making some changes to my comment settings to try to stem the tide of spam. I think it might be affecting legitimate commenters, so I'll probably be setting it back to the way it was. Sorry about that!
I have certainly felt stuck at times, and not feeling well only makes it worse as it's harder to "get going." You have a plan in place and that's a big step. I'm thinking of you and am confident things will get better. Spending time outside is so helpful, I find, and the birds are finally singing which is great too!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support and understanding, Janet. Being sick and being off work got me off my routine, and I think that really affects my mood more than I thought. The birds are singing, indeed, and what a glorious sound!
DeleteSorry your feeling down right now. When I get sick, I do find it affects my moods as well.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I felt stuck for many years after my child left home for college. My role as a full-time mom was reduced to only an occasional event, and I felt like I had lived out my usefulness. It took a few years, but I've finally found a new role for myself. I've been lucky enough to be a part of some new ministries at church and I'm throwing myself head first into it. It has reinvigorated me. But, the waiting to get here was definitely hard.
Thank you, Sunny. I'm so glad that you have become a part of something that invigorates you and makes you happy and fulfilled!
DeleteSometimes we just get stuck and I think sometimes that's just the way it is, you know? I'd love to always be moving forward and improving--unfortunately that's not always the case. Sometimes I go backwards and sometimes I sit stuck.
ReplyDeleteKristina, you're right. The reality is we aren't always in improvement mode, and sometimes we don't know why. It doesn't last forever. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI feel stuck a lot. Did you ever hear of the prayer of Jabez, where he asks God to enlarge his territory? I was in a place where I really wanted to expand myself; find a place where I could be of more help to the community and hopefully have it be service-related to God also and ironically, we did a study on the prayer of Jabez. I have to say that I prayed that prayer and some opportunities (one being the homeless shelter clothes closet) presented itself so I definitely found my territory enlarged.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that I love about you Tina is that you always come up with a plan and ways to work out whatever you are struggling with. I feel like you are a wonderful work in progress. I do think contentment is a wonderful feeling and place to be, but if you are not happy you do not stay stagnant but work on where you feel you need to go. Awesome!
Krystal Lynn, thank you for your kind words--you made me smile! I have not read the prayer of Jabez, but the idea of asking God to enlarge my territory is intriguing. I will have to look into this. Thank you for telling me about it and your experience with it.
DeleteHi Tina.. When my husband and i moved to Oregon from Maine almost 18 years ago, i was the character you talk about here. I was full of anxiety and depressed for about a full year. I had no desire to meet people here or find anything i liked in our new life. Everything was wrong, and i was homesick daily. I love it here now, but i'm a different person, i think. It's kind of a blur now.. that time. I can't believe that person was me.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to write a book here, but i could. Meditation helps me now, and it's great that you practice it. You'll get through this time! You are on the right track with your planning and reading etc. And i hope you're over your cold soon!
Thank you, Mary. Your experience of moving to Oregon sounds similar to mine when I moved to Ohio for five years many years ago. I resisted it for a long time--I didn't want to think of any place other than Virginia as my home. I would have enjoyed my time, especially the first year or so, much more if I had seen the move as an adventure and a chance to explore a new place. Thank you for sharing your experience.
DeleteI find getting outside when the weather is nice does so much for my mood. xo
ReplyDeleteNancy, thank you for your comment. Isn't it amazing how the weather can affect how we feel?
DeleteI'd been wondering about that movie - it looked good. With your endorsement, I can now put it on my to-watch list.
ReplyDeleteI meant to take some time last week to reflect on my New Year's goals and their progression, but kept putting it off. I've made progress, yes, and now it's as if I feel I can "rest on my laurels." I wish! Your post is a good nudge for me.
I look forward to seeing what your time of reflection turns up.
Thank you. I hope I have good things to report! I think you would like the movie. It's a rich story with great characters.
DeleteHi Tina, I do feel stuck, like I am not moving forward right now. For the last four days I have been unable to walk without pain in my left heel, which is still swollen and sore. I plan to go to see a doctor tomorrow, even if I have to limp (which I know I most likely will), to find out what is happening. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I am so sorry you're suffering with your foot! I hope the doctor can do something to give you relief from the pain. I will be thinking about you. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Deletethere are no rules in life tina, it's an adventure and you are the main character. i wish i knew what to say to help you feel better.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debbie. I am feeling better. I love your words, that life is "an adventure and you are the main character." I'll remember that!
DeleteMy Hero and I watched that movie about a month ago and we were surprised at how much we enjoyed it. There were lessons to be learned in it and since I have now turned 60 I think it affected me more than I like to say. I do think I hope to be full of adventure when I reach the ages of these people. Interesting differences. You Tina will figure it out as you go along I can relate to a lot of your thinking and I am doing OK age is a wonderful thing. Hug B
ReplyDeleteDebbie is very wise.