Monday, October 28, 2013

Barbara and the importance of encouraging words

"Blue Sky and Autumn Leaves"


When I was growing up, my best friends were twins who lived two miles from me. Their parents farmed, too, and ran a store.
We visited back and forth. We mostly played outdoors, making up games. Often, when I was visiting them, we played board games like Monopoly and Life under the trees in their front yard. Their mother, Barbara, would pop a grocery-sized paper bag full of popcorn and bring it out to us to eat as we played.
Even when I was a child, Barbara talked with me like she cared what I had to say. She seemed eager to hear about what I was doing and thinking.
When I grew up and moved away, she was one of the people that I always wanted to see when I visited my parents in the old community.
Barbara died this past week. She was 84 years old.
I haven’t seen Barbara a lot in the past years, but whenever I did, we caught up on our lives and she showed me that same kind, listening ear.
Three years ago, when I had been working at my newspaper job for less than a year, I received a card from Barbara. She had seen my work in The Union Star, a sister paper of the newspaper that I work for.
Here is part of what she wrote to me:

“For some time I have been seeing your name in “The Union Star” and wondered if it could be “our” Tina. Then (my daughter) told me you were at the Supervisors’ meeting and it answered my question. . . . I just wanted you to know how happy I am for you as I know you always wanted to be a journalist. I can remember a lot of years ago, and I don’t know where we were, but you said how very much you liked putting words together. . . . I just had to tell you how very proud I am of you.”

I felt so encouraged by her words. I was surprised that she had remembered something I had said so long ago. I was so pleased that she was proud of me.
That is what I will remember about Barbara: her kind and encouraging ways and words.
We all need people in our lives who are interested in what we’re doing, who listen to us, who encourage us in what we want to do.
Barbara was one of those people in my life.
When my father died over 16 years ago, I received a sympathy card from Barbara and her husband. In that card, she wrote, “The world is a better place for having (your father) for a little while.”
The world is a better place for having you, Barbara, too.


Who is someone in your life who has been especially encouraging to you?

27 comments:

  1. Oh Tina I am so sorry about your friend Barbara everyone should be lucky enough to have a encouraging friend like that in their life. Take care Hug B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, B. Yes, everyone needs someone in their life to be encouraging to them.

      Delete
  2. this brought tears to my eyes and chills. what a wonderful soul she was. thank you for sharing her with us and reminding us how good people can be...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, T. Barbara really was a person who showed how good people can be.

      Delete
  3. I'm sorry for your loss.
    It's really good that you had some one in your life who gave you consistent positive feed back. We should all try to follow Barbara's example and the world would be a much better place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Red. You make a great point--we should try to be encouraging to others, not just expect it from them.

      Delete
  4. I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds amazing - everyone needs a Barbara to cheer them on through life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Lisa. I think encouragement is something that can help anyone.

      Delete
  5. I'm so sorry you lost such a dear friend Tina. Must have been so nice to have her in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am sorry for your loss Tina. What a wonderful woman it sounds like she was. The importance of words of encouragement cannot be overstated. I had a boss once who was wonderful with being uplifting and encouraging and it really raised my confidence!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Keith. Your boss sounds wonderful--it's great when the one who supervises you is also encouraging you toward your best.

      Delete
  7. oh tina, a sad but very beautiful story!! my husband is my greatest source of comfort and encouragement......and i have many girlfriends who are awesome as well!!

    i have the most amazing people in my life, both family and friends!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Debbie. I'm so glad you have good people surrounding you, especially your sweet husband.

      Delete
  8. So sad -- to lose a long-time supporter and friend Tina. How nice that she was part of life. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Nancy. Yes, that's a good way to describe her--a "supporter." We all need people like that.

      Delete
  9. She sounds like a sweet and wonderful person - how fortunate to have someone like her in your life.

    I'm very sorry that she has since passed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Amanda. When I was growing up, I didn't know how unusual having someone like Barbara in your life can be.

      Delete
  10. Oh, Tina, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your friend Barbara. It hits hard, doesn't it, our friends from elementary school no leaving this world. She sounds like a wonderful person -- what a joy it must have been to receive that note from her. Friends are such a gift. To say farewell to one is so very hard...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jeanie. Yes, I treasure that note and keep it in a special folder with my keepsakes.

      Delete
  11. Tina, I am so sorry for your loss. Barbara sounds like a lovely soul and the kind of person that anyone would treasure as a friend. Sending you a hug.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wonderful tribute to Barbara, Tina, and I'm sorry for your loss. The "grown-ups" I remember from when I was a child were definitely the ones who were genuinely interested in me and my life, and I still remember, and appreciate, them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Janet. Yes, I think we remember those people because they didn't look down on us and actually listened to us.

      Delete
  13. You had such a great friend there, Tina. Sometimes it's hard to find people who will listen to us and really care about what we have to say.

    ReplyDelete
  14. What a wonderful woman, and what a great legacy she left! We never know what impact our words, both positive and negative, will have on others. I'm sure she will be missed by many. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.