Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Changes

   Thank you for listening to me while I work through changes.



Chase Bird


“All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.”
--Cecil Frances Alexander

When Larry and I got married almost 10 years ago, we formed a blended family. But not in the way the term “blended family” usually refers to.
Larry has a daughter, but she was already married and had two children when I married Larry. I didn’t have any children.
We blended our cats.
Larry had Thunder Cat and Sam. I had Waddles. Waddles and I moved into the house Larry already had in Altavista, and we became the happy family we had dreamed about.
Or not.
The cats didn’t get along. We should have known it wouldn’t be easy.
We really didn’t know what we were doing. We immediately introduced Waddles to Thunder and Sam—face to face in the same room. A lot hissing and growling ensued, as you can imagine.
We learned. Usually you have to gradually introduce cats to each other. It can take days—weeks—months before they will spend peaceful time together in the same room. Sometimes it never quite happens.
But eventually, it did happen with Waddles and her two new siblings. They could, for the most part, remain at peace with each other.
One of the happiest times I remember is when all five of us—Larry, me and the three cats—were together in the den, sitting around, hanging out, calm.
Sam was the last of our “original” cats. When she died last week, the group of cats that we started out with, which we formed our family with, was gone.

“O heavenly Father, protect and bless all things that have breath: guard them from all evil and let them sleep in peace.”
--Albert Schweitzer

In 2007, we added Chase Bird to the family. He was a stray that started living under one of the bushes in our front yard, and eventually we took him in and adopted him.
The other cats didn’t like him. He and Thunder Cat had a growling row one time. So we kept Chase in his own room. Larry put up a gate so that he could see what was going on, but we couldn’t let him out with the other cats.
We worked on introducing Chase to them. But as time went on, it seemed less workable because first Thunder Cat, then Waddles, got very sick and fragile.
Chase and Sam had more interaction, usually through the gate. But we were very careful about unsupervised meetings. Usually, if Chase was running around the house, it was because Sam was in a part of the house he couldn’t get to.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.”
--Anatole France

Now Chase Bird is the only cat we have. He has full run of the house. It has been an adjustment for all of us. We’ve had to get used to a cat that is young enough to jump up on kitchen counters and dresser tops and bathroom sinks. He is getting used to a freedom that he hasn’t known.
He is a blessing and a comfort. We are fortunate to have him.


But so many changes. 

30 comments:

  1. When my husband and I moved in together we expected our cats to hate each other and we were not wrong. All we did was cut their claws so they couldn't seriously injure each other and left them to figure it out. They still hiss at each other on occasion but that still happens with me and my husband so I don't worry about it. Sometimes we catch them kissing. ;-)

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    1. Thanks, Birdie. That's great that they get along as a whole. I think our expectations were too high that they would get along right away, so we didn't properly prepare.

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  2. Lucky Chase Bird, lucky you too for having him..you've chosen beautiful quotes Tina...he is gorgeous your CB.

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    1. Thank you, Lynn. He is a sweet boy. He loves to sit on our laps and snuggle. :-)

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  3. i several folks who had blend animal families. it is always an adjustment. ( :
    enjoy your week. gosh, it is almost over now. so quick. so quick.

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    1. Thanks, Beth. It was a big adjustment with our cats, but so worth it. You have a good rest-of-the-week too.

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  4. LOVE the Anatole France quote. It's so true. And I am dealing with this as well. My girlfriend and I both have a cat and we often talk about introducing them to get them accustomed to one another in case we ever live together. But my cat is insanely cranky around other cats lol.

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    1. Thanks, Keith. I just found that quote, and love it too. Good luck with introducing your cat and your girlfriend's cat. They might surprise you! If you Google "introducing cats" or something similar, there's lots of tips out there.

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine trying to introduce my cat to another..she is just the most anti-social animal I have ever owned.

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    1. Thank you, Terri. Some animals just seem more open to other animals, don't they?

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  6. Oh HUGS my friend lots of hugs. Change is hard but you are going to be just fine and adjust OK. HUGS B

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    1. Thank you, B, for your support and encouragement. :-)

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  7. How true, Tina. Life is full of changes. We also have a "cat history" in our family and we like to reminisce about all of them (we are currently pet free). Wishing you a sense of peace as you adjust to your newest change.

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    1. Thank you, Janet. We like to reminisce, too. Lots of funny stories and sweet stories to tell and retell.

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  8. awww. he has full freedom - bless him. he's earned it. :)

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    1. Thank you, Theresa. Yes, he has earned it, poor boy. We spent time with him and played and bonded, but he was "a part" too much. I felt so guilty about it.

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  9. Putting cats together is a hit and miss. You just never know how it will turn out. We adopted our black cat, Nacho, from the local humane society January 2010, and she was alone for a few months. In September of 2010, I suggested we adopt another cat from the humane society because I felt that Nacho should have company of her own kind. So off we went and adopted, Mocha. Well, Nacho wasn't happy at first. There was a lot of hissing going on, and some bullying. But I guess at some point she decided it's kind of nice to have another of her own kind around, so she quit the harassing and embraced the new kitten. It's been great since then. They adore each other, and there is never any conflict. Sometimes it's a hit.

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    1. Thanks, Martha. I'm so glad your Nacho and Mocha get along now. Eventually Waddles and the other cats tolerated each other, at least. One time we even found Wa and Sam sleeping within inches of each other on the bed. I took photos of it to remember it. :-)

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  10. Many years ago, my now ex-husband and I bought a house and moved in with my two cats. Before we moved in, a dog moved into the back yard & wouldn't leave. We finally fed her, and the next day her sister showed up! We fixed them up & got them well, and moved them into the house, much to the chagrin of the cats, who expressed their displeasure by going on a litter box strike. It was pretty chaotic for a while! When the tomcat died, his mother and one of the dogs finally became friends (we have a photo of them holding paws, and they had nestled their heads together). When the cat died, the poor dog just howled and scratched at the little grave we dug.

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    1. Oh, Nadine, what a sweet story! Thank you for sharing it. Things can get very chaotic in the house when the animals don't get along, can't it? So glad the cat and dog became friends. It must have been so hard on the dog to lose his friend.

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  11. Our remaining cat that we got when we were first married has not been able to adjust to the two newer (but adult) cats we got last year. I even ordered her some herbal remedy for cats with jealousy. She just can't get over it, so we keep them separated.

    Chase Bird must be thankful for the extra time with you right now.

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    1. Thanks, Lisa. I think it is harder for older cats to adjust to changes.

      At first, Chase Bird seemed confused by his new freedom. It looks like he's getting used to it, though. We are enjoying him too.

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  12. Sending you a big hug Tina, full freedom is good!!

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    1. Thank you, Debbie, I appreciate it. Yes, freedom for Chase is a good thing.

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  13. Golly - blessing and the feeling of sadness - how in the world are humans expected to roll with all the changes? Thank you for sharing with us. Thank you for sharing your open, honest heart.

    I wonder what will happen next? It will be good . . . I'll keep watching your stories to see.
    Love & Love,
    -g-

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    1. Thank you, g. You expressed exactly what I was feeling--blessing and sadness at the same time. I guess that is what life is made up of--a mixture of emotions and experiences. Thank you for your support.

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  14. What love we have for our fur babies....I know you miss the ones that gone so much but I am glad you have the comfort of this one...It's got to be good to see him run freely....Do you think you will get another?

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    1. Thank you, Nancy. Yes, it does my heart good to see him (and hear him) run around the house and sit wherever he wants to. We may get another cat someday, but not anytime soon.

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  15. Hi Tina. You wrote about one of my favorite subjects today--meow. I'm so sorry Sam is gone. It's hard losing a loved one, no matter the number of legs. Chase Bird is adorable. He looks a lot like our Taz. I so agree with the last quote, especially a cat. Dogs will love anyone but cats are very particular. When a cat loves you it is a profound and precious gift. Hugs my friend.

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    1. Thank you, Grace. Chase is a little sweetheart and such a comfort. I have found cats to be so much more affectionate and loyal than they often get credit for being.

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