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| A tree in our neighborhood. It's been here longer than I have and has seen a lot. |
Hello, dear readers. I have not
been consistent with my blogging lately, and I apologize for that. Here is what
has been going on with me and what I want to do about it.
I have been working more hours
than usual at the newspaper, which accounts for some of my absence. But the
main reason is that I’ve been living an unhealthy lifestyle.
My eating has been all over the
place—too much, not the right kinds of foods. I haven’t been exercising. I
haven’t been keeping good sleeping habits. I stay up late, toss and turn, then
sleep too late. Long naps are the norm when I get the chance. And still, I’m
exhausted too much of the time.
I haven’t been spending enough
time outside in nature, taking photographs. I haven’t been relaxing enough. I’ve
let intrusive thoughts carry away my emotions.
I think about writing more than
taking action and sitting down and writing. I let fear and inertia control me.
Basically, I’ve been drifting
along, doing what I have to do, putting my head down and just vowing to get through
the day. I haven’t been looking for the joy, or the contentment, or the peace
that I believe can make each day a better one.
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| I love looking at trees like this and their huge roots. Trees are symbolic for me. I think of life and stability and strength when I look at them. |
There are lots of reasons for
letting myself go: lack of motivation, procrastination, some depression,
feelings of insecurity, taking the easy way out. Fear.
Have you ever felt tired of how you’re living? That’s where I am now.
I’ve been here before. And my
usual response is to make a huge list of things to change and set a lot of
goals, all at once. And then I get overwhelmed.
So I’m starting slow. There’s one
habit I’m going to work on first. I’m not going to tell you what it is today. I’m
going to work on it and tell you about it Wednesday. I’ll tell you about it
even if the process is going badly.
Because change is hard and
sometimes the process is pretty ugly.
What’s the last habit you worked
on developing?
Bless your heart, Tina, my prayers are with you. You know, I went through the exact stage you mentioned (not eating well, sleeping late, tossing and turning and not being able to fall asleep) for months! I know exactly what you are going through and believe me, I have been there (and just up until the last several days, too.) I am making a comeback. I took a few long walks (an hour and more) over the last several days and am beginning to eat better. As for the sleep, well, I am hoping that this will fall into place as well. I am sending you a warm hug and much love, and please know that you are in my prayers. Please feel free to e-mail me if you need to talk.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your life style. When we don't have a good sleep we are out of track. Prayers for you to get well soon. I too like to see very old age trees. Their roots will be very strong and fat!
ReplyDeleteTina, the good thing is that you are cognizant of these things and that is over half the battle :-) it's good that you have the ability to be self-aware enough, and introspective enough, to notice the things that need to be changed. And poor sleeping habits are a biggie - they can really effect us. Mine need to be changed too!!
ReplyDeletei am glad you've recognized that things need changing and are determined to do it. the last habit i worked to develop is routine exercise. started 3+ yrs ago and it has been the best thing i've done for myself in a long time. i eat better/less, too. this spring i went thru a bit of a funk that pushed me off my norm, but i've been working to rectify that again and get back to my 'new normal'. :) good luck, tina!
ReplyDeleteoh tina, i knew, i just knew!!! inside of you, there is a wonderful happy person, that has to work too darn hard to make it to the forefront. such a shame, beacause i really like that person. i love seeing that persons name in my inbox!!!
ReplyDeletefind your joy tina, find your joy!!
and on a side, lighter note....i find music lightens up my spirit and makes me feel happy!!! try playing the pharrell williams song "happy".....it just makes you move and it makes you smile!!!
I hope you are able to get back on track soon. I find that if I'm feeling sluggish, just a short walk is better than nothing. And maybe something inspiring will happen. Yesterday we saw a just hatched snapping turtle on a short walk.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that things have been tough lately, friend! Thinking of you! Excited for Wednesday's update! Give yourself GRACE.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time. That way, each day, is a brand new start. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about tree roots, Tina! My husband and I did some hiking over the weekend and I just kept stopping and pointing all types of tree roots.....they are truly amazing. I've never known anyone who felt the same way :). Good luck as you move ahead slowly this week. Be kind to yourself, you will get to where you want to go!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your changes. Everyone needs change in their life and I am with you, girl... slow is better.
ReplyDeleteI go through periods like this quite frequently. Four years ago I vowed to eat better because I was sure my body was rebelling against all the junk I was feeding it. Basically, all I did was reduce my portion sizes, stop drinking soft drinks, and add fresh fruits and vegetables to every meal. Every one. For the most part I stuck with it and lost 40 lbs. I do feel better. You can do this. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI have been through periods like this too..where my OCD just gets the best if me, but it's really important to take care of yourself. Please eat well, stay hydrated, and try to find something that you enjoy each day. I am just starting to delve into some self guided ERP. I am mentally exhausted at the end of each day. One thing I'm trying to work on is making sure I am taking some time for myself each day, whether its watching a positive movie or reading a book. Hang in there. I have been reading your blog for quite some time now....and I think you'll get out of this funk too!!
ReplyDeleteUgh I am RIGHT there with you, Tina. Hope things turn around for you.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. I have been having a very difficult job keeping up with things lately. Spring allergies have hit me like a semi-truck and I can't seem to find any relief medically. I just have to wait. But I have to get my act together on the diet front too. It just seems so overwhelming right now. I hope you can get started on the right track as hard as that is.
ReplyDeleteI understand exactly because I'm so tired of how I'm living but I'm lacking energy and motivation. The only thing that "generates" energy for me is to have something I look forward to. It can be anything,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing so honestly. Now I know I'm not the only one - hey!! One step at a time - we are sure to get to someplace Brilliant, don't you think???
ReplyDeleteYes I do , and it is usually when I let good habits slide, and I think this is a reminder to get back on track which I do with some effort, one thing at a time or I get overwhelmed and chuck in the attitude and slump around for a while longer.
ReplyDelete