Monday, November 17, 2014

Sharing our secrets

Our second batch of leaves awaiting town pickup.

So many more leaves left to fall.


Somehow, I let my blog anniversary pass without remark. Nov. 14 was my third “blogiversary.” The time has flown by for me. I really have a hard time grasping that I’ve been a part of this blog community for so long.

Before I wrote my first blog post on Nov. 14, 2011, I had never shared a lot about my mental health with others.
As I began posting on the blog, as much as I wanted to be as open as possible about OCD and depression, it was difficult for me to decide what to share and what not to share, and how to express myself.
I had spent a good portion of my life hiding my OCD. Occasionally, I shared with a friend that I had OCD, but I never offered details about what that meant for me in my daily life.
I was a little more open about my depression because that seemed to be a bit more acceptable to others, but, again, I shared few details with others.

I have become more comfortable writing about how OCD and depression fit into my life and how I deal with them. I am more comfortable sharing how I live my life while “bringing along” these mental illnesses.

Recently, I discovered that talking about OCD with another person—speaking about it instead of writing about it—is a whole different experience for me.
As I was talking with this person, I felt more self-conscious about revealing the details about OCD than when I write about them.
Just speaking out loud about OCD jarred me. I heard the words coming out of my mouth, giving explanations about obsessions and compulsions, and I thought, “This disorder is weird. What is this person going to think?

The experience was a positive one, and I’m glad I talked about OCD. Each person I talk to, each person who reads my posts, may learn a bit more, may understand this “weird” disorder a little more.
And if the person is experiencing OCD symptoms, then maybe he or she can be encouraged to get treatment.
I was reminded that sharing such secrets—which we could argue shouldn’t be secrets because having OCD is nothing to be ashamed of—with others isn’t easy.
We have the right to privacy. There is nothing wrong with keeping close to our hearts things we don’t want to or need to share with others.
But for me, sharing my secrets can help show others they are not alone.


Have you ever found relief in revealing a secret?

18 comments:

  1. Happy blogiversary! Sounds like this blog has been great for you. I have enjoyed reading it and getting to know you.
    I read a wonderful cat book the other day you might like (and it isn't sad like so many animal books!). It's called Homer's Odyssey and it is about a blind cat. Really well written.

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  2. I am only one of many who is grateful you share your OCD/D, I've learned a great deal, and have searched out more information because of your posts, I think it has helped me in understanding family and friends who deal with OCD and depression, I thank you very much for being so open and so brave. xxxo L

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  3. i can imagine that, you being a journalist, you've always found it easier to write than speak about something. :) congrats on 3 years of sharing here!

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  4. Yes, I think I have found relief in sharing some of my "secrets." When you bring such things into the light, they have less power over you, I've found. It's not easy, and some things I'll never share, but I'm learning through sharing that A) I'm not the only sufferer, and B) my problems are not my doing and nothing to be ashamed of.

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  5. The first key is to accept that you have some serious mental health issues. Only then can you begin a trip to some improvement. Talking about the issue gives you some power over your situation. Keep at it.

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  6. Happy Anniversary, Tina! I remember when your blog was born! :)

    Though I don't have OCD myself, I can definitely relate to speaking to someone face-to-face being more difficult than sharing online As my book release date approaches, this is something I think of more and more. It's scary, but as you say, it can be helpful to so many people (including ourselves).

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  7. I agree completely tina, I find writing about issues much easier then talking about them!! congrats on the blog, mine was in October and I just recently realized it!!!!

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  8. Happy anniversary! Congrats on your steady, consistent effort.

    I tend to be more comfortable in general writing rather than speaking. In person, I want to get to know someone well before I trust them with the deeper parts of myself. The other advantage of writing is, I can edit my words before people see them!

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  9. Happy blogiversary! I think I found you or you found me very shortly after that first post of yours. I clicked on it and saw my comment (I had Kay Francis as my profile pic back then).

    I think it becomes easier to tell our secrets the more practice we have. I still get very nervous speaking about certain things but I am very comfortable writing about them on my blog.

    I get so frustrated and overwhelmed when I try to explain OCD to someone that I just don't really even try anymore. I am trying to be more open with close friends when I am having struggles but I find that they really don't understand and it makes me feel "weird" when I try to explain. I have even told my Mom a few times recently that I just can't explain OCD to her sometimes because I just don't know how, for it's so embedded in so much of my life and actions that it's just hard to try to dissect in words.

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  10. Happy belated blogiversary! I think it's wonderful that you share your journey with us here. You are mostly likely helping a multitude of souls In the process. How awesome. Talk, write, do what you have to do to heal. God bless!

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  11. Happy belated blog anniversary, Tina! As always, I thank you so much for trusting us enough to always share your journey :) I hope you have a terrific Tuesday!

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  12. Congrats on your blog anniversary! Glad you started to share via your blog because I have found your posts to be very helpful and thoughtful. It is very true that typing a post or writing in a journal your thoughts and emotions is so Very different than speaking to someone in front of you. Recently I have opened up about my OCD and what I've been dealing with in regards to my mother at work and it was nerve wrecking at first but in the end it has proven to be a good change. Surprisingly it even had one doctor open up about what was going on in her own family!

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  13. Happy Blog Anniversary. - I think it's great that you are able to share about OCD and that you are helping others.

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  14. I came by way of Shirley Hershey Showalter's blog and I'm sure glad I did.

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  15. Congrats my bloggy twin! Yes, talking about OCD sure does feel different than writing about it and it IS a weird illness, but, it's not our fault and we have nothing to be ashamed about.

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  16. happy blogiversary!! i have enjoyed getting to know you!

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  17. I truly believe that all of us have something about us -- an illness, a condition, something -- that can sometimes be difficult to discuss or share. Yet in doing so, it can help others find grounding, validation and help. You are doing a great service with your blog (and your in-person life). And I just love ALL you share with us as well. Congratulations on your anniversary, even if it is belatedly!

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  18. Oh yes revealing secrets are freeing and I am so glad you are here in Bloggerland and I found you. Happy Blogiversary. HUG B

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