Saturday, September 15, 2012

My OCD is like this

  I recently wrote this poem to describe what obsessive-compulsive disorder can sometimes be like for me.
  The poem is based in part on an experience I wrote about in a previous post.


OCD
By Tina Fariss Barbour

I stare until there’s nothing to see.
The stove hasn’t moved.
The stove hasn’t changed.
The stove hasn’t given me the answer.

I stare once more for fifty times.

I beat my hands against the wall.
Help me, God, no more.

Why not my head?
Why not my head
against the wall?

It explodes me,
leaves nothing but
promises not to do it again.
It is a prayer to God.
I won’t do it again.
I’ll do it just once.

I beat my hands against the wall.
No more, please God.

Why not my head?
Why not my head
against the wall?

16 comments:

  1. Oh, Tina, that poem is a PERFECT representation of the frustration of OCD. I have often felt the strong urge to hit my head against the wall (literally) because I don't know, sometimes I think it might shake something loose and take the torment away. Of course, I know that it will only hurt me, which is why I don't actually follow through and do it, but the urge is there and I really have to fight it sometimes.

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    1. Sunny, I'm glad this resonated with you, though I'm sorry that you have felt like this, too.

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  2. Replies
    1. Shannon, thank you! I'm sorry that you, too, have felt like this.

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  3. It is so hard for me to express the torment of OCD, this poem does it very well Tina. Thanks for sharing.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Krystal Lynn. I'm sorry you've have to experience the torment, too.

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  4. Very powerful....thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry it is so hard at times.

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  5. I can so relate to the helpless feeling this powerful poem describes so well...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jean. That is a good word for it--a feeling of helplessness.

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  6. You describe the hell of OCD perfectly Tina.

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  7. Great poem.

    You describe it perfectly.

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