Friday, June 29, 2012

Can you please turn that down?

This week I’ve been building my posts around the five senses. Today, I consider the sense of hearing.

Loud noises bother me. A lot.
Noisy restaurants, crowded parties—I can stand only so much, and then I have to get out. And the silence that comes once I escape seems heavenly to me.
Loud noises make me anxious, and anxiety makes my OCD more difficult to deal with and can even make me feel depressed.
I’m reading the book The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, by Elaine N. Aron, and I suspect that I am a highly sensitive person—prone to not liking loud noises, lots of chaos, bright lights and other stimuli that most people handle just fine.
I found this passage interesting:

“One general rule is that when we have no control over stimulation, it is more upsetting, even more so if we feel we are someone’s victim. While music played by ourselves may be pleasant, heard from the neighbor’s stereo, it can be annoying, and if we have previously asked them to turn it down, it becomes a hostile invasion” (p. 22 of e-edition).

When I’m in the car by myself, I turn up my music, and usually sing along. But I remember the days when I lived in apartments and it drove me crazy to have to listen to neighbors’ music, especially pulsating, booming music that shook the walls.
After a while of listening to loud music in the car, I do like some silence, and I’ll turn it down or turn if off completely. And chronic noise bothers me.
But noisy restaurants and crowded parties probably bother me in part because I can’t control the volume.
Sometimes my husband has the television turned up louder than I’d like it. In the room across from our bedroom, where he sometimes watches TV, the television is old. You have to turn it up to hear the dialogue in a show, but then the commercials blare out.
It used to really bother me, especially if I was trying to go to sleep. But since I’ve been working on being more mindful, I’ve tried to actually tune in to the TV’s sounds and sense them as part of many sounds around me.
That said, I still prefer quiet. The quiet helps to soothe my anxiety.
When I want sounds to be soothing, music will sometimes do the trick, usually instrumental music with no words. But some artists, like Alison Krauss, can soothe me even with words.

Here are some other sounds that soothe me:
*The sound of my husband when he loses himself in laughter.
*His soft breathing as he sleeps.
*The purrs of my cats.
*The soft pad of the cats’ paws on the floor.
*The birdsongs in the early morning.
*The slight whirl of the ceiling fan over the bed.
*The wind high in the oak trees.
*Gentle wind chimes.

What sounds drive you crazy? What sounds soothe you?

24 comments:

  1. I love how you ended this post with sounds that you love.

    Isn't that book incredible? I was amazed when I read it!

    I too am a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and I have the same problem in noisy restaurants etc.

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  2. It is an amazing book. I haven't yet gotten into the meat of it, but I like her perspective of the good and the bad sides of HSPs.

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  3. Sounds can drive me absolutely crazy, but lights are my real trigger. I hardly ever turn on the overhead lights in my office or home - I prefer gentle, subdued lamplight. My noise triggers are: loud restaurants, a loud t.v., people talking loudly - all of these just make me withdraw into myself. Thanks so much for mentioning the book, I hadn't heard of it and can't wait to read it!

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    1. Lights bother me, too! I don't use the overhead light in my office--instead, I use two lamps. And I usually like the blinds closed at home.

      It's an interesting book, so far. It's funny that there are so many people with the same set of traits.

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  4. These doggone construction sounds are driving me batty! The remodel has definitely increased my anxiety level. Unfortunately, when I leave the house, even the coffee shops have music, people, and other stimulation, so I'm not getting the deep quiet that I need. We also went to a fundraiser for a local theatre last week, and afterwards I just shook for a long time because of the noise. I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend.

    I've also been getting up earlier, from 4-5 a.m., to get work done before the workers start. That helps me a lot, to start my day with some quiet, alone time.

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    1. I feel for you with the construction noise--I hope it will be done soon! I start getting really anxious and nervous if I'm in a noisy place, like a restaurant, for very long. I love the quiet of the early morning--it's just so hard for me to get up! :-(

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  5. I must read that book. I have always been extremely sensitive to noise, and hated (still do) those Fourth of July fireworks! My favorite sound is silence!

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    1. I love the sound of silence, too! I'm not a fan of fireworks. My cats don't like them either, so we commiserate with each other.

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  6. Not only does loud noise bother me, I have trouble concentrating with normal noise. For example, I would never, ever leave the TV on for back round noise while I read, study or even blog. My husband has a TV in his office - he works from home in business development/engineering and he will work with with the TV on in there, which doesn't bother me because I can't hear it, but I can't fathom him being able to do that. The firm I worked at in Texas had a work bay and if workers left the door open I could hear the music and then the office spaces where I was had it piped in so there were 2 things going at once and I would literally have to shut it all off because I felt like I could be driven berserk. I can't clean with the tv or radio on, though soft or classical music is soothing even that is not helpful if I need to concentrate. I would rather be dipped in hot tar than go to a club and there have been times when I felt I was competing with music in a cafe making a conversation difficult for me to concentrate on. I honestly thought I was alone in this so I am sorta glad to know that someone else has similar issues with noise. I do play music in my car and while I cook. I like my footsteps when i hike, the rhythm of it and we have a monastery near us - there is absolutely nothing as beautiful as the monks chanting. I like hearing crickets at night or the sounds of nature, waves, a creek, mostly gentle noises. I am probably a HSP too. Does anxiety pretty much go hand in hand with HSP? I would think so.

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    1. I love that "I would rather be dipped in hot tar than go to a club"--I am with you! I hate to have to shout to be heard over loud music and people talking, etc.

      I have a hard time concentrating with stuff going on around me, though some times bother me more than others. Not sure what the difference is.

      I have a tape of Gregorian chants--I love it!

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  7. Sounds that grate on me: Harleys, construction, loud restaurants where you can't hear the person next to you, and loud TVs--especially commercials.

    Sounds I love: laughter, the sound of water moving (ocean waves, rushing rivers, rain falling)...and yes, SILENCE. I especially like insanely early mornings, when the world is just starting to wake up.

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    1. Ah, you and Nadine have the right idea with the silence of the early mornings. I am working on getting there (out of bed)!

      I love to listen to water, too, and rain falling.

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  8. Interesting post. The most soothing sounds for me have a lot of similarities to yours. I LOVE the sound of my cat purring, especially if I'm holding her, because I can feel her purring too. I love wind chimes - especially the ones I used to own that were bamboo. It was a much more mellow, deep sound than the metal kind. It was so musical. I too love birds. We have two really big trees in our front yard and the birds like them, so I get to hear them playing there. I also love the sound of my husband and my child laughing - especially if they are laughing together about something really silly. I also love the sound of a water feature in a garden. Something about trickling water I find so incredibly comforting.

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    1. We do have a lot of similarities in sounds we like! A contented, purring cat is sooooooo soothing to be around.

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  9. Tina, I loved that book - I realized I'm an HSP, too. Reading it explained so much...my Mom used to call me her "spooky" kid because I was a afraid of the lawn mower and the vacuum cleaner, but in truth it was the noise they made that distressed me. I've never been a party girl, either, because I not only care to drink to excess, I hated the noise. I never could understand how people enjoyed eating or hanging around in smokey places where you had to shout a conversation! I also very much dislike traffic noise, and look forward to the day when my husband and I can move to a more remote location where we won't hear tires sighing on pavement 24/7.

    Sounds that soothe me include:
    -Wind blowing in the trees
    -Mourning doves cooing
    -The ocean
    -Wind chimes
    -Distant church bells and train whistles
    -My husband's voice when he's praying aloud

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    1. Oh, by the way...I'd like to say my own cats' purring is soothing, but that would be a LIE. My one cat has such a horrendously loud purr that Shep and I have to put her down from the couch sometimes when we're watching a movie because we can't hear the sound of the film over her purring! Maybe she has a deviated septum or something...

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    2. Jean, I get tired of the sound of traffic, too. We don't have a lot on our street, but we are near enough to the bypass that we can sometimes hear the big trucks late at night. I love the sound of train whistles, too, esp. at night.

      Poor kitty!

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  10. I don't like noise in general. I hate when tvs or radios are left on, whereas my husband wants constant background noise.

    My 5 yr old is very sensitive and after he got really upset following a fire drill this past year, we actually made a plan with the school that he will get to walk out early next year before the fire drill goes off (he was so upset he said he was never going back!)

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    1. My husband does better than me with the TV or radioin the background, too.

      Poor Pierce! I'm glad the school is working with you to help him.

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  11. *The purrs of my cats.*

    One of my favorite sounds in the entire world.

    Lovely, Tina. Xx

    btw, when I'm depressed or anxious, loud noises hurt me.

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    1. Kim, Thank you! I think if I"m already upset, they bother me more, too.

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  12. I prefer the sounds of Nature over the sounds we human beings create.
    And I'm pleased you are enjoying the book Tina!

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    1. I like the sounds of nature better too! And thank you so much for recommending the book!

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  13. I am going through all your posts that I missed, and just read about the 5 senses. I am very sensitive to sounds. It's one of the biggest triggers for my anxiety.

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