 |
| My father when he was about 3 years old. He was outside the home he was born in. |
In his life story that he wrote before he died, my father noted that he
was “one of nine children” of his parents. His oldest sister died of pneumonia
when she was four years old, he wrote, but the rest of the siblings lived to be
60 or over.
He never knew his oldest sister because she died before he was born. He
was the sixth of the nine children, and he grew up with two older brothers, two
older sisters, two younger brothers and one younger sister.
On Sunday, I received word that his younger sister had died. Only one of
the nine is still living, my father’s youngest brother.
I’ve been thinking about my extended family.
My father’s family was quiet but friendly. When I was a child, I
preferred visiting with my mother’s family because there were cousins around my
age to play with. On my father’s side, I was the youngest grandchild. The
cousin closest in age to me was about six years older, but she did play with me
when she was younger.
I remember how we got together at Christmas every year, usually at the
house of one of my uncles. He worked for Dr. Pepper, so we always drank Dr.
Pepper when we visited him.
I remember as a child staying with my aunt, the one who just died, when
my brother had to be in the hospital for a few days. She and her family lived
in Lynchburg. I liked walking up and down the city street with my cousin and
playing in their backyard.
By the time I grew up and moved away to go to school, the family get-togethers
were fewer. Gradually, I saw family at the reunions that I occasionally
attended or at funerals.
I’m been thinking about the passage of time, how those family gatherings
were so long ago. I’ve been thinking about my grandparents, raising their
children on a farm, tragically losing one daughter at such a young age.
I suspect that many of you have similar stories of family, of growing up
with aunts and uncles and cousins, of losing family members with the passage of
time.
It’s the way life works. I know that.
But it still makes me sad.
I have a large extended family. How about you? Did you have a lot of
aunts, uncles and cousins growing up?
I have 4 cousins and we were all born within 13 months of each other. Oh, the fun we had! We also all lived within a few block of one another so we were together often.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad when our elders start to die. They were always the cornerstones. The ones that had the family meals and kept everyone together and fed.
Birdie, that's great that you and your cousins were so close in age and could play together. You're right--the older generations seemed to hold the family together. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteThank you so much for sharing this, Tina! I have cousins but to be honest I have never had a close family outside of my parents.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda. I have many cousins that I'm not close to also. We didn't grow up in the same area, and it was hard to get to know each other.
DeleteWe were a military family so we didn't live near our extended families. Of my mom's siblings only her sister has kids and they are older. My dad's side has more people but I am not close to them. So it was mostly just the four of us.
ReplyDeleteKristina, I grew up and lived in the same area as many of my relatives, which helped me get to know many, though not all of them. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteMy Mom had 5 brothers, so 5 aunts, my Dad had 4 siblings, 4 (6 with divorces) aunts and uncles, then 17 cousins, plus in the immigrant community they were tight so my extended family was HUGE, for an only child this was wonderful. It scares me sometimes when I realize the size this family is now..and you are right when you say this is life, it also makes me sad. I'm sorry that your Auntie has died.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lynn. I appreciate it.
DeleteIt sounds like your extended family was large indeed! My husband is an only child and doesn't have a large assortment of aunts, uncles and cousins, so he is a bit overwhelmed by all my relatives.
Oh I am so sorry about your Aunt. I did not have a huge extended family but my own family is huge. Eleven kids and then I married a man with 11 kids so my children have more aunts uncles and cousins than anyone I know. Lots of fun.... picture their weddings they will be very very crowded. :)Keep smiling Tina life is good HUGS B
ReplyDeleteThank you, B. Yes, life is good. :-)
DeleteMy goodness, you and your husband did have large families! Your daughters will have lots of guests at their weddings for sure.
It certainly is sad to lose family members with the passage of time - one of the inevitable sadnesses of life. I am sorry to to read about your aunt. My family is not really that large - kinda of small and spread out.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Keith. I appreciate it. Most of my aunts and uncles lived around my home community, but many of the cousins moved elsewhere.
Deletei was the youngest of 8, my mother the youngest of 8, my father the youngest of 12. all of my aunts, uncles and cousins were so much older than i was that i never really knew them well as they were a generation older.
ReplyDeleteWow, T, you had a huge family! I agree that it makes a difference when so many cousins are so much older. I'm 50, and I have first cousins who are in their 70s. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteGrandparents and aunts and uncles were a great source of security. We received love and attention from them. If we look now we are the people who have the gatherings and support our nieces and nephews. It's our turn.
ReplyDeleteMy only sister passed away when she was eleven. It saddened and changed our family forever. We had a little brother born after her death
Thanks for your comment, Red. I'm sorry about your sister.
DeleteI think growing up with so many relatives did give me a sense of security.
Your post really touched me,Tina. It's always bittersweet for me to remember my younger days with family. As the older generations die, it's the end of an era, and also puts us that much closer to the "top" generation.My condolences on the loss of your aunt.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Janet. I appreciate it. You're right--it's an end of era, and that realization is sometimes hard to take.
Deletethis is a beautiful entry tina!! my family is not large and most of my extended family don't get along, on both sides. i also have family, aunts that i love, that are so far away. i have always longed for big family holidays!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debbie. When I was a young girl, we had family gatherings at Christmas on both sides of the family. Now, the gatherings are so small.
DeleteI'm closer to my Dad's side of the family, but his siblings didn't have children, so I don't have any cousins. I have cousins on my mom's side, and we see each other once in blue moon, but aren't close (growing up, I did visit two of my cousins during the summers).
ReplyDeleteIt must've been fun to drink all that Dr. Pepper!
Thanks, Lisa. I think of my uncle every time I drink a Dr. Pepper. :-)
DeleteMy condolences on the death of your aunt. It's always hard to say goodbye. I haven't been around my cousins in years. Last year (I think), my aunt came over to visit with a cousin who lives in New Mexico, and it was great to reconnect with her.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nadine. I'm glad you had the opportunity to reconnect with your aunt.
DeleteYour post reminded me of many stories within my own family. My mother is 1/3 and my father is 1/11. I know everyone on my mother's side, although like you, my cousins are all much older. And on my father's side, I only know (and see regularly) one aunt and one uncle. And my cousins on his side are also much older, but being an adult makes it a little easier now.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about the death of your aunt - it is never easy. Thinking of you.
Thank you, Amanda. Sounds like you have a large family, too. I think the age difference on my father's side made it more difficult to really get to know my cousins on that side as well as I do the cousins on my mom's side.
DeleteThe majority of my relatives live or lived in Canada and with my dad being in the Air Force and us moving all over the U.S., we didn't get together much with cousins, etc...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nancy. So many of my cousins have scattered since we grew up. I recently saw some that I hadn't seen in over 20 years.
DeleteSo sorry to hear about your aunt. I come from a large family, with a lot of extended family. We're scattered to the four winds now, but do try to keep in touch. Of my parents' generation, I have one uncle left on my mother's side. I Since my parents died, I tend to cling to him a bit, and write to him regularly. My family (extended and immediate) becomes more important to me the older I get.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jean. That's nice that your family tries to keep in touch. I bet your uncle enjoys your letters. :-)
DeleteYes,, my mom was the youngest of eight children. It was very hard for her as her older siblings died. But then she got cancer and had to say goodbye to her two remaining sisters. I was very sad then they died because it was the end of my mother's generation.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Galen. It is sad to see a generation pass away. It really changes your perspective, too.
DeleteYes,, my mom was the youngest of eight children. It was very hard for her as her older siblings died. But then she got cancer and had to say goodbye to her two remaining sisters. I was very sad then they died because it was the end of my mother's generation.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading about your family but I am sorry about the loss of your aunt....My extended family was close when I was young but now with the passing of time and everyone being scattered all over the US, it seems we have lost touch...I have a few cousins I stay in contact with and I really enjoy catching up with them. Yes, I agree....the passing of time and changes can make me sad as well...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nancy. When I was little, I couldn't have imagined not being in touch with my cousins, especially those close in age to me. Time changes things, though.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about your aunt. Hugs and prayers!
ReplyDeleteMy mom comes from a small(er) family while my dad's is gigantic. Thanks to facebook, I am reconnecting with cousins I never knew existed!
Thank you, Kim. That's a good thing about FB--it does allow us to keep in touch with people we never would otherwise.
Deletehave i told you lately how grateful i am that you take time to share with us?
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear of your loss - I trust your aunt - and your entire family holds memories to bless you and guide you . . .
I began with a wonderful collection of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents . . . Those memories I continue to hold dear.
Thank you, g. I appreciate it. Memories are indeed important. I like looking at old photos and remembering.
DeleteI also came from a very large extended family. I've kept track of most of the closer ones because I am one of the very few who have left the area where I grew up. And Facebook helps. My mother was one of eight, her father was one of thirteen. I am one of seven. There are many, many offspring. My generation has slowed down on the reproduction front. But there are still lots of us around.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Barb. My generation didn't have as many children either, so there are fewer young ones.
DeleteI remember when I was growing up, my mother kept up with one of her cousins and her 8 children through the mail with letters and photos. I guess nowadays, we keep up with each other mostly on social media like FB.
Wonderful memories. I loved staying with my paternal grandmother. She would go through her drawers and give me things she could part with. They were treasures to me!
ReplyDelete