Wednesday, September 25, 2013

My OCD is better

Step by step

Today I told someone that my OCD seems better.
Until then, I had kept the hope to myself.
But I’ll say it a bit stronger here: my OCD is better.

OCD is tricky. It can wax and wane.
During especially stressful times, it can grow stronger, leading to more obsessive thoughts, less ability to control the compulsions.
Other times, it grows stronger for no clear reason.
Then the symptoms ebb away, interfering less with the rest of my life.

There is nothing that I can point to as the reason for the current improvement. I think it’s probably a combination of things:
*Good medication
*A focus on preventing myself from following through on the desire to do a compulsion as I work on Exposure and Response Prevention on my own
*Good therapy earlier this year and last year
*A dedication to being mindful
*A growing realization that worrying doesn’t do me or anyone else any good

This time the improvement feels like a step up. I’ve improved in the past, but I wasn’t so aware of working on my OCD and keeping it at bay as much as possible. 
I’m more deliberate about it now.
It's not that I don't still have obsessions and do compulsions. But the symptoms are bothering me less and less. I'm better than I've been in a long time.
I’m very grateful. No need to analyze that too much, is there?

I’m not an expert on OCD. I’m just someone who has had the disorder since I was a child. I realize that OCD can seem very weird, and there are some misconceptions about it. Is there anything about OCD that you’d like to ask me?


48 comments:

  1. Good! Would you say it's been better for a while now? :)

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    1. Thanks, Kristina. Yes, for several months things have been easier with the OCD. Some of it I've recognized after the fact.

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  2. I'm glad to read this - glad that you can write/say the words, glad that you're ocd is better.

    When I read this, I thought of the assignment I had in class two semesters ago, when I asked about your experience with ocd. Did I ever tell you that my professor had me tell the entire class about your response? Well, it's true! I explained to them, as you explained to me.

    I don't have any questions about ocd ... I'm still just thrilled to read this post!

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    1. Thank you, Amanda. I'm glad that you were able to use that explanation. Thank you for your support. :-)

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  3. I'm glad your OCD is better too. Hope your symptoms continue to decrease.

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  4. I'm so happy for you - it must feel good the be feeling better. I hope as you continue to follow your strategies, that your symptoms continue to decrease.

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    1. Thank you, Karen. It does feel good, and I want to stay on top of it and keep doing better.

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  5. Tina -- so happy that your days are better. xo

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    1. Thanks, Nancy. That's a good way to put it--my days are better. :-)

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  6. Hi! Can I ask what medications you take? My OCD has had a flare-up. Driving me insane.

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    1. Shelly, I'm sorry about the flare-up. I empathize with you! I'm on Lexapro. It's treating the OCD and depression.

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    2. Let me add that though this medication is good for me, it's not for everyone. Everyone has different experiences with medication. So I'm not advocating the medication that I take.

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  7. This is wonderful that it's getting this much better and I hope it continues and doesn't wane any time soon. I do have a question: Does it ever affect your job?

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    1. Thanks, Keith. Yes, it does affect my job, especially the writing part. When the OCD is active, I tend to read my writing over and over, looking for any mistakes. It's good to be conscientious--I try to do that--but it gets to the point where it's difficult to let a piece of writing go.

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  8. Well that's excellent news! I hope it continues to be at a more minimal level than in the past.

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  9. I think being cognizant and having an awareness are key steps that you've embraced. I am happy for you, and that you are moving in the right direction...and doing so with purpose :).

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    1. Thanks, Kathy. Being more purposeful in my work on the OCD has helped me tremendously.

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  10. i am glad for you. it sounds like you truly have taken a step up. sure, it will waver up and down a bit, but sounds like you have certainly improved. :)

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    1. Thank you, T. I do have to be aware that the OCD can go up and down, but I hope I've reached a new level of improvement.

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  11. Yay! I'm very happy for you Tina! This is wonderful news. :). You've worked hard and been mindful, and it's so worth it. Hugs!

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    1. Thank you, Mary. It does take hard work, and I have to remain vigilant, but it's definitely worth it!

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  12. It's good to hear that your OCD is taking a break. I hope it's a long break. Misconceptions? Most people do not understand irrational. Question: How did you come to terms and accept that you had OCD?

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    1. Thanks, Red. When I was first diagnosed with OCD, I thought I could take my medication and forget about the OCD. I improved and thought I was all better, but I didn't realize how many ways OCD was affecting me. It was only when I understood how much it was limiting me and started doing some work on it that I really accepted that it was going to be a lifelong issue.

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  13. I am so glad that your OCD is getting better, Tina! Praise God!

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    1. Thank you, Linda. I appreciate your support.

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  14. I agree, Tina, no need to analyze too much! So happy for you :)

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  15. Since I am new to your blog I may have missed posts about having OCD as a child. When do remember first having compulsions? Did those around you notice? Did you try to hide it? Was there an event that brought it on or is just a part of who you are?

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    1. Birdie, the first compulsion I remember doing is counting. I would count the letters on signs and try to make it come out in threes. I don't think I told anyone I did this. I don't think a particular event brought on the OCD. But I do think it started manifesting itself when a family member was going through a lot of health issues and I had to spend a lot of time in hospital waiting rooms or with other relatives.

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  16. So glad for you, Tina. Sounds like life is good right now.

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  17. nope....i just want to say that you are very brave!! perhaps blogging, taking photographs and surrounding yourself with happy blogging peeps has also helped. i see a change, i have mentioned that!! when i read your entries, i feel happiness.

    life is good tina....you are a strong woman with a great spirit. it's all up hill from here!!

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    1. Thank you so much, Debbie. You are so sweet and so supportive.

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  18. Hi Tina, I just joined your blog, and I'm looking forward to 'reading' more of you. I'm happy that things are going well for you, and I hope they continue to do so!

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    1. Thank you, Martha. It's nice to have you join!

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    1. Thank you, Anna. It feels good to say it. :-)

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  20. Gosh, what a great post, Tina! LOVE THIS! So happy for and proud of you, friend!

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    1. Thank you, Jackie. I appreciate your support.

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