Goodbye for now

Dear readers,

I have thought about this for a long time and done a lot of journaling and plain soul-searching. I have come to the conclusion that at least for now, I’m discontinuing posts on this blog.

I started this blog in November 2011, and I’ve since made many friends in the mental health advocacy world and in the blogging world itself. I have learned so much more about myself and the disorder that I initially wrote about: OCD.

I treasure each one of you who have followed me along the way.

As you know, I haven’t written much this year. I felt like I had nothing to say. And I realized and finally admitted to myself that I wanted to follow another passion of mine, a passion that I was writing about more and more on this blog: my love of animals, especially cats.

I am starting a new blog called Following Cats, located at http://www.followingcats.com/. I published my first post today. If you are interested, please go over and see if it’s a blog you think you might like to keep up with.

I consider many of you friends, and I hope not to lose touch with you. I will be coming by your blogs.

Thank you for the years of support and encouragement you have given me. Thank you for helping me through many dark times. Thank you for connecting with me. You have been gifts to me.

With love and peace,

Tina

Back to blogging, back to my friends

Hello, friends! It has been many months since I’ve been in this space. A short time away turned into a longer period than I thought it would be. Many times I thought about starting back, but I have finally reached the point when the time seems “right.”

I have missed you and your comments. I have missed reading your blogs. I am looking forward to catching up as much as I can.

I have so much to tell you. I hardly know where to begin. The last six months have been busy, with happy parts, heartbreaking parts, and just-glad-to-be-here parts. I have stories about my animals, my new job, my new volunteer work, my health, and my life to share with you.

If I tried to tell it all in one post, it would be so long, I doubt you would be able to get through all of it awake.

So today I will leave you with this: I am still here. I am still living with OCD and depression. I am still forging ahead despite that. And I’m in a pretty good place.

I’ll be back on Wednesday.

Yes, I love cats

Waddles and I in 2004. 

I searched the magazine racks, back and forth, up and down. The only issue I could find was the next month’s issue, already on the stands, not the current month’s issue. Cat Fancy.

I took it up to the check-out at the bookstore.

“Oh, it’s their last publication as Cat Fancy,” the salesperson said.

“Yes, but I was actually hoping to find another issue,” I said. “There was an article in it that I wanted to read.”

“What was the article about?” she asked.

I was a bit embarrassed to answer.

“I’m one of those people who follow cats on Facebook,” I said. “It’s an article about one of those.”

“Which one?”

I thought she meant which issue. “February,” I said.

“No, I mean which cat?” she asked.

I thought, She knows about cats on Facebook?

“Frosty the Frozen Kitten,” I said.

Then the salesperson named a list of cats that she followed on Facebook. It turned out that she, too, was one of those people who followed cats on Facebook.

I admit it. I follow numerous cats: Frosty, Champy Pants the Blind Siamese Kitty, Buhbee the Cat, Tenderness for Tyrone, FlowerPower.

It’s cute, it’s fun, and it’s relaxing. I’ve learned a lot about rescue efforts that are going on around the country and the world. I’ve learned about special-needs animals and the people who love them and take care of them. I’ve connected with other animal people.

But with connection can come feelings of loss. When one of the animals (mostly cats) that I follow get sick, or have a sibling that gets sick, or crosses the Rainbow Bridge, I feel very sad.

“Why do you look at those pages if they make you cry?” Larry has asked.

And I ask myself that sometimes: why do I do this to myself?

Because I enjoy reading about the antics of kitties. Because I can relate to what other pet people are going through with trying to give cats medicine, finding foods that they like, and dealing with sibling rivalry. Because I am part of an exchange of helpful information. Because it’s a group of people who value animals in the same way I do.

I know that Facebook is not the same as real life. If Chase Bird wants to play or sit in my lap, and I’m looking at Facebook, down goes my phone. I’m careful to limit my time online and keep my focus on the life around me. I’m aware that social media can be an escape from the worries and stresses of daily life. And it’s certainly been a stressful couple of months.

But online friends are still friends, even if I’ve never met them in person. I care about the animals and the pet parents I’ve connected with and want to be encouraging when I can. I’ve learned more about animal welfare and what I can do “in real life” to help animals.

So I say without embarrassment: I’m one of those people who follow cats on Facebook.

Have you ever been interested in learning more about a “famous” animal?

People who helped me survive

If I look at only the negatives in my life—mental illness, dysfunctional family, emotional and verbal abuse—it’s easy to think that all of life is negative.

But if I consider that despite those negatives, I managed to accomplish many things and am an adult doing what I hope is good work, then I have to admit that I had and have many positives going on in my life, too.

How did I survive and in many ways flourish? How did I reach the point where I could seek help for myself and gain self-understanding?

For starters, I had people in my life who provided love, hope, support, structure, encouragement, smiles, consistency, trust, and values. Even when I was a lonely, scared child, there were people around me who cared and showed me that they cared.

My first grade school picture. I loved school and found acceptance there.

 I decided to compile a list of some of those people who were positive influences on me when I was a child, a teenager, and a young adult. Looking over this list reminds me of how I’ve been blessed, that all of my life has not been negative.

*My great aunt Ida. I wrote about her and her iris garden a couple of years ago. I stayed with her and my uncle quite a bit as a child when someone in the family was in the hospital. With her, I felt safe and cared for.

*My best friends’ mother, Barbara, who I wrote about almost a year ago. She treated me with respect by listening to me and showing interest in me. She encouraged me.

*The first Sunday school teacher I had. She showed interest in me, too, and never tried to dissuade me from coloring everything in purple. She never forgot that purple was my favorite color.

*My elementary school teachers. I was blessed to have good ones overall, and school was a source of happiness. I have especially fond memories of my second grade teacher, my fourth grade teacher, and my fifth grade social studies teacher. They allowed me to follow my curiosity and do more work than was assigned.

*My high school English teacher who taught me for three years. She encouraged me to think big about my future. Her choice of me for the English Award when I was a sophomore helped my self-esteem more than she ever knew.

*My first-year suitemates at the University of Virginia. They showed me that not everyone came from a family like mine, that there were other, and better ways, to interact with people and enjoy life.

*My friend D in graduate school at Bowling Green State University. She encouraged me to seek counseling by telling me that she had gotten counseling. I figured if someone as pulled together as she was could sometimes need help, then I could seek it too.

*My first talk therapist. I revealed things to her about the way I was raised and how depressed I was that I had never talked about with anyone else. She was also the first person to whom I revealed my OCD symptoms. She helped me to begin to move past unhealthy ways of thinking. She also referred me to a psychiatrist.

*My first psychiatrist. She formerly diagnosed me with depression and OCD and started treatment. She called me “high functioning,” which surprised me at the time. Now I realize that she saw more strength and capability in me than I did.

*My friends A and B in graduate school. They treated me with respect, spent time with me just hanging out and having fun, and encouraged me. They reflected to me that I was a valuable person. And they showed me other ways of living life than I was used to.

We never know when we can be a strong, positive influence on someone else’s life. We never know when the small things we do for others turn into big things for them.

Writing this post made me realize how much I want to be a positive influence in the lives of others.

In the comments section, name one person who had a positive influence on you as a child or younger person. Let’s remember together!

Just a reminder: My new blogging schedule is to post on Mondays and Thursdays. So I will see you again on Thursday.

Mr. Mayor

Some people live their lives in such a way as to make me want to live a better life.

Rudy Burgess was one of those people.

Rudy, who was 84, died on Monday. The Altavista community is less because of his death, but more because of the life he lived.

Rudy was a public servant. He started serving on the Altavista Town Council in 1972 and did so for 40 years. For 28 of those years, he was the town mayor. He didn't run for re-election in 2012.

Until his retirement in 1993, he also worked a full-time day job.

Rudy was not a politician. He loved Altavista, and he served the people of Altavista.

He was one of the first people I met when I moved to Altavista in 2003 after Larry and I got married. He and Larry knew each other—Rudy knew everyone—and I quickly learned that this was a man who always spoke when he saw you, always had something funny to say, and always wanted to hear your opinions about things.

After I started working for the Altavista Journal, I had more opportunities to see Rudy. Though I didn’t usually cover Altavista government, I’d see him at events and discovered more evidence of the love Rudy had for his community.

In 2010, I had the privilege of interviewing Rudy and his wife for an article about long-lasting marriages I did for a special bridal section. At that time, they had been married for 60 years. I loved hearing their stories about their married life and the ways they worked together as a team. They stayed busy with children, church, work and Town Council, but they never forgot each other.

I reread that story yesterday and looked through some photos the newspaper has collected of Rudy over the years. I remembered the joke he used to tell people, that every time his picture was used in the Journal, he was paid $500.

Service to others, dedication to one’s work, love for one’s family, faith—Rudy personified these values. And thinking about him and his life makes me want to do better.

God bless Rudy Burgess.

I don’t have any photos of Rudy that I can share on my blog, but here are some photos of the town he loved. They were taken mostly on a Sunday morning, so there’s not a lot of traffic.

Who makes you want to live a better life?

Blogging friends

One of the wonderful surprises I’ve experienced with blogging is the chance for new friendships.

No, online friendships are not the same as face-to-face friendships. But connections are made even when we don’t meet each other face-to-face.

With readers of this blog and writers of other blogs, I’ve shared life experiences. I’ve received moral support, inspiration and encouragement. And I’ve had plain fun conversations with people I would never have met if not for the Internet.

One of those blogging friends is Patty of Patty’s Pretty Things.

The word “pretty” goes perfectly with Patty. She’s a pretty lady with a pretty personality who makes creative and—you guessed it—pretty things.

I love reading her blog and seeing pictures of the art she makes. She takes vintage items and creates new pieces that are not only beautiful to look at, but honor the people who used those items first.

Her family and her home are very important to Patty, and she celebrates them with her art.

Patty recently sent me a Christmas package. When I opened the package, I was so excited to find this:

This lovely Christmas card is an example of the paper art Patty makes.

These cardinal tags came complete with ribbon to use to attach them to packages I give out this year.

The kitty faces on these cards are so sweet. How did Patty know I like cats? (smile)

I can’t wait to send out these butterfly cards.

Patty made my day with this fun and pretty package. She’s so sweet. I hope you will check out her blog and see many more pretty things she’s made.

Thank you, Patty! And thank you to all my blogging friends who make my life richer from just knowing you.

What do you like best about your blogging friendships?

Barbara and the importance of encouraging words

"Blue Sky and Autumn Leaves"

When I was growing up, my best friends were twins who lived two miles from me. Their parents farmed, too, and ran a store.

We visited back and forth. We mostly played outdoors, making up games. Often, when I was visiting them, we played board games like Monopoly and Life under the trees in their front yard. Their mother, Barbara, would pop a grocery-sized paper bag full of popcorn and bring it out to us to eat as we played.

Even when I was a child, Barbara talked with me like she cared what I had to say. She seemed eager to hear about what I was doing and thinking.

When I grew up and moved away, she was one of the people that I always wanted to see when I visited my parents in the old community.

Barbara died this past week. She was 84 years old.

I haven’t seen Barbara a lot in the past years, but whenever I did, we caught up on our lives and she showed me that same kind, listening ear.

Three years ago, when I had been working at my newspaper job for less than a year, I received a card from Barbara. She had seen my work in The Union Star, a sister paper of the newspaper that I work for.

Here is part of what she wrote to me:

“For some time I have been seeing your name in “The Union Star” and wondered if it could be “our” Tina. Then (my daughter) told me you were at the Supervisors’ meeting and it answered my question. . . . I just wanted you to know how happy I am for you as I know you always wanted to be a journalist. I can remember a lot of years ago, and I don’t know where we were, but you said how very much you liked putting words together. . . . I just had to tell you how very proud I am of you.”

I felt so encouraged by her words. I was surprised that she had remembered something I had said so long ago. I was so pleased that she was proud of me.

That is what I will remember about Barbara: her kind and encouraging ways and words.

We all need people in our lives who are interested in what we’re doing, who listen to us, who encourage us in what we want to do.

Barbara was one of those people in my life.

When my father died over 16 years ago, I received a sympathy card from Barbara and her husband. In that card, she wrote, “The world is a better place for having (your father) for a little while.”

The world is a better place for having you, Barbara, too.

Who is someone in your life who has been especially encouraging to you?