Catching up

Abbey

Hello, dear readers. I’m feeling a bit out of breath and overwhelmed right now with all the changes going on, but I wanted to catch you up on those changes.

The big change is my new job. Friday was my first day. It was nice to start getting settled in. I didn’t have a lot to do because my supervisor is out of town until mid-week due to a family illness. But I enjoyed connecting with my new co-workers, many of whom I already know.

I think I’m going to enjoy the work and my work environment. I just don’t know enough to feel useful at this point, and I tend to get bored if I’m not busy. So I am trying to keep boredom at bay and use my down time to learn more about working for the county and the issues that I could be talking about with the media and with the public.

Tuesday night is the annual public hearing before the Board of Supervisors on the next fiscal year’s budget, and we’re expecting a large crowd. There will be no tax increase this year, but the schools are also not receiving all the funding they asked for. So the schools will have to make some cuts that not everyone is happy with.

More people seem to be involved now in speaking out about the direction they want the county to go in.

I’ll be at the meeting Tuesday, though instead of covering it for the newspaper, I’ll be helping to get people signed up to speak, and I’ll be listening to people’s concerns.

My supervisor returns to the office on Wednesday, and that’s when I’ll begin to learn the meat and potatoes of my job. I’m looking forward to that, because I like to stay busy, and boredom can easily lead to depression for me.

The other big change is our new family member, Abbey. She is so funny and sweet. We have given her and Chase Bird some face-to-face time. Chase seems to prefer to ignore her, though he has hissed at her a couple of times. But overall, though they are obviously wary, I think they will get along.

Abbey makes the cutest mewing sounds. Whether she’s greeting you or playing or asking for food or attention, it’s kind of a trill with rolled “Rs” mixed with “mew.” I need to record the sound for you.

I love taking care of my kitties. I get so much satisfaction out of making sure they’re fed and getting playtime and cuddle time. And a content, purring kitty is the antidote to just about any stress!

Take care until next time!

A time of anxiety

Chase Bird relaxing in the sun on the enclosed porch.

My anxiety is high, and I can’t seem to relax. That’s what I’ve been like for a while. I finally settled things with the job hunt, but I’m still in a time of change, and that raises my anxiety.

My last day with the newspaper is this Friday. Then I have nearly two weeks off before starting my new job.

It’s a busy time this week at the paper. I’m covering the first workshop the county supervisors have after receiving the proposed budget for the next fiscal year. That’s always a tough story to write, full of numbers and proposed changes and different opinions from the supervisors about how to fund the county. That’s Tuesday.

Then on Wednesday, a first-degree murder trial is scheduled, and I’ll be covering that.

And all week, I’ll be trying to put things in order for my editor and the other staff writer. The corporate office of the company that owns our newspaper has decided that my position is not going to be filled. So all of my work is being passed on to my editor and my co-staff writer. I’m doing the best I can to help them with contact information, a calendar of upcoming court trials, and background information to aid in the transition.

I know that I shouldn’t, but I’ve been feeling guilty about leaving my co-workers in that position, with all that work.

I’m not very happy with myself for letting the anxiety get to me like it has. I know so many ways to deal with anxiety. I guess knowing something intellectually is not the same as being able to put it into practice.

I did have a bit of a breakthrough Sunday. I used my phone to join a Facebook gathering to listen to classical music. At first, it was difficult for me to just sit and listen. I wanted to be busy doing something else at the same time.

But I recognized that I needed to just sit and listen, no matter how uncomfortable I felt. I finally relaxed a little and enjoyed the music.

I’m going to have to put effort into having more moments like that this week. Isn’t that strange—to have to put effort into relaxing? I think the idea of effort is really being willing to make myself uncomfortable for a bit, like I did Sunday. Making the choice to stop for just a few minutes.

I will be back on the blog next Monday, April 20. To all my friends who have blogs, I am so sorry that I haven’t visited much lately. I appreciate you staying in touch with me. 

Yes, I love cats

Waddles and I in 2004. 

I searched the magazine racks, back and forth, up and down. The only issue I could find was the next month’s issue, already on the stands, not the current month’s issue. Cat Fancy.

I took it up to the check-out at the bookstore.

“Oh, it’s their last publication as Cat Fancy,” the salesperson said.

“Yes, but I was actually hoping to find another issue,” I said. “There was an article in it that I wanted to read.”

“What was the article about?” she asked.

I was a bit embarrassed to answer.

“I’m one of those people who follow cats on Facebook,” I said. “It’s an article about one of those.”

“Which one?”

I thought she meant which issue. “February,” I said.

“No, I mean which cat?” she asked.

I thought, She knows about cats on Facebook?

“Frosty the Frozen Kitten,” I said.

Then the salesperson named a list of cats that she followed on Facebook. It turned out that she, too, was one of those people who followed cats on Facebook.

I admit it. I follow numerous cats: Frosty, Champy Pants the Blind Siamese Kitty, Buhbee the Cat, Tenderness for Tyrone, FlowerPower.

It’s cute, it’s fun, and it’s relaxing. I’ve learned a lot about rescue efforts that are going on around the country and the world. I’ve learned about special-needs animals and the people who love them and take care of them. I’ve connected with other animal people.

But with connection can come feelings of loss. When one of the animals (mostly cats) that I follow get sick, or have a sibling that gets sick, or crosses the Rainbow Bridge, I feel very sad.

“Why do you look at those pages if they make you cry?” Larry has asked.

And I ask myself that sometimes: why do I do this to myself?

Because I enjoy reading about the antics of kitties. Because I can relate to what other pet people are going through with trying to give cats medicine, finding foods that they like, and dealing with sibling rivalry. Because I am part of an exchange of helpful information. Because it’s a group of people who value animals in the same way I do.

I know that Facebook is not the same as real life. If Chase Bird wants to play or sit in my lap, and I’m looking at Facebook, down goes my phone. I’m careful to limit my time online and keep my focus on the life around me. I’m aware that social media can be an escape from the worries and stresses of daily life. And it’s certainly been a stressful couple of months.

But online friends are still friends, even if I’ve never met them in person. I care about the animals and the pet parents I’ve connected with and want to be encouraging when I can. I’ve learned more about animal welfare and what I can do “in real life” to help animals.

So I say without embarrassment: I’m one of those people who follow cats on Facebook.

Have you ever been interested in learning more about a “famous” animal?

The news and the no-news

Slower than molasses in winter. That’s what I’ve spent the last two months thinking.

What’s moving so slow? The job search process. Or rather, the hiring process.

On Monday when I posted, I believed that I would have news to tell you about a new job. I don’t. So here’s the news about my job search and the way I keep getting—no news.

I applied for a job in early January. I can’t give any details about the job yet. But I can say that I believe I would enjoy the work. Compared to my current job, I would work fewer hours but make significantly more in salary.

That sounds too good to be true. But it is a legit job. It would be a way to be a public servant again, something I’ve missed.

It has been a laborious process. I interviewed. Then I interviewed again. Then I met with two more people as a courtesy. Then I waited while an unexpected crisis hit the employer. I was praised for the patience I had shown.

Then, finally, with only one more step—a step that was more courteous in nature for another group than anything else—I was told that I would receive a formal offer Wednesday.

The courteous step turned into a quagmire. Now I’ve got two more weeks to wait.

Why am I willing to go through all this? Believe me, I’ve asked myself that question. I’ve been very frustrated. I’ve made plans, then had to undo plans. As most hiring processes go, it’s ridiculous.

But I am excited about the job. I want a new challenge. I can use more of my skills. I know the people I would be working for and with. I believe it would be a good fit.

I enjoy my job now. But one side effect of writing news articles for a living is that it’s harder for me to have the right kind of energy for doing the writing I love.

And I’ve been told—and I believe—that the slower-than-molasses-in-winter process isn’t about me. It’s about things out of my control.

And there lies my frustration. I can’t do anything about the process. I can’t hurry it up.

Situations like this raise my anxiety level. I’m tired. I have headaches. I’m restless. My thoughts race.

I haven’t done a good job handling the anxiety. I’ve been putting off dealing with it, telling myself that I would relax and do fun things after things are settled.

That’s not the best way to handle anxiety, and I know that. I am now trying to focus on the present. I remind myself that there will never really be a time when, in every area of my life, “things are settled” because each day brings us problems and frustrations. If I don’t practice my anxiety-reducing measures now, I will miss out on life now.

Meditation. Knitting. Pleasure reading. Lounging with Chase Bird. Laughing with Larry. Going for walks. All things I will be fitting back into my schedule.

And when this part of my life settles down, I will tell you all about the new job.

Have you ever had a strange or particularly stressful experience job hunting?

A pause in the overwhelm

“The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.”

-Buddy in the movie Elf

  

A hectic week behind me and another one ahead. Or so it seems when I think of all that I have to do. I remind myself that I don’t have to do everything at once, and it will all get done eventually. Right?

Larry and I spent some time outside the Land of Overwhelm Sunday. We got out the trees (one large and one small) and decorated the large one that we put in the den. Here’s a photo taken with my phone:

 

We still need to add the finishing touches, including the tree skirt.

While we decorated, we watched the movie Elf. My blogger friend Keith Wynn of Musings of An Unapologetic Dreamer recommended the movie as one of his favorites, and he recently sprinkled Facebook with quotes from it.

We enjoyed Elf. It made us laugh and feel a bit more lighthearted about the holidays.

As we go through this week, let’s find ways to take a break from the work and stress and enjoy the moment.

Chase Bird isn't sure what he thinks of the intrusion of the tree. His expression says it all.

What is your favorite holiday movie?

Getting through the workday

This was my desk at the end of the workday Tuesday night.

Tuesday is layout day at the newspaper.

Here’s the basic process:

In the morning, the editor, the other staff writer and I may do a variety of things, including writing stories, checking on stories, making phone calls, etc. Late morning, we have a meeting with the advertising manager and decide how many pages we’ll have in the paper and, generally, what stories will go where.

The big decisions are about what goes on page one and the “second” page one, page three. Sounds confusing, but basically page three has the second-tier stories on it. If you think about opening up a newspaper, your eyes probably go to page three before they hit page two.

Then the other staff writer and I start laying out the pages. The news editor at a sister paper helps with layout, too, and the ad manager lays out the classifieds.

As we finish pages, we print out “proofs,” and the editor and proofreader start reading and marking things that need correction/adding/deleting/changing. If needed, I also read and edit.

Later, when we’ve finished laying out, the other staff writer and I make corrections, turn the pages into PDF files and print them out. The three of us editorial staff proof the pages again.

Then we send the pages to press via the Internet. The actual pressroom is an hour or more from Altavista.

This past Tuesday, we finished up at about 6 p.m. (Sometimes we’re much later if we have something to cover in the evening and then write about it.) I had to stay after to get a head start on updating the newspaper website because I need to be out of the office for part of the day Wednesday to cover a couple of trials.

I do a lot of these activities every Tuesday without even thinking about them. And sometimes—OK, often—I get stressed out. I become tense and anxious before I fully realize what has happened.

I’m trying to be more mindful these days. I did a little experiment Tuesday. I worked through the normal lunchtime wrestling with the layout. At about 3:30, I reached a stopping point and hurried out to grab something to eat. I chose something quick: McDonald’s.

Yes, my eating habits tend to spiral down on Tuesdays.

While I was waiting in the drive-thru line, which really seemed to be taking too long to get through—I realized I was getting uptight and too stressed. So I turned on the radio and put it on WVTF, the public radio station in my area, and listened to classical music.

“Maybe this will calm me down,” I thought.

And it did, a bit. It certainly made my wait a little more pleasant.

Later, back at the office, Larry came by for a few minutes. He was there to pick up something from me, but it was nice just to see his face and laugh a bit with him.

And we got the paper done. We always do.

I’m learning more and more that it’s the little things during the day that can help calm the anxiety and remind me that I don’t want to hurry through the day too fast. It’s the only day I have, after all.

Now I need to work on staying away from the fast food.

What little things do you do to get through the day as easily as possible?

**And a note about Friday. I was going to post last Friday about a special assignment I had for the paper that kept me out until the early morning hours. But the story got delayed a week. So I’ll tell you about it this Friday.

Finding joy in plants

Raised bed garden, May 10, 2014.

Someone told me last week to find what gives me joy. (You know who you are!)

I had written about the toll that covering court cases takes on me, what a difficult time I was having dealing with it.

So my friend gave me advice that we should all follow: find the joy.

Saturday morning I mothered my fledgling garden. I pulled a few weeds, loosened up the dirt and looked over the plants. And, of course, took pictures.

Here are some photos to catch you up on my growing plants.

Carrots and broccoli.

Cucumbers. We lost some of the early plants to a freeze.

 

Cucumber plant up close.

 

Onions.

Prize Head and Romaine lettuce.

 

Lettuce up close.

What has brought YOU joy lately?

I’ve posted my second blog post on my editing website. It's called "Just Start Writing." If you’d like to check it out, go HERE.

Snow and expectations

“Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting.”

― Haruki Murakami

I made a private vow that I was going to place less value on expectations. But, like a lot of things we decide to do, it’s harder than it seems at first.

We got our first real snow of the winter on Tuesday. I expected we would get at least a couple of inches.

We didn’t get enough to cover the grass completely.

I was disappointed. But the snow that did fall was pretty. And I still took some photos. The pictures aren’t good—I didn’t get much chance to be outdoors until after dark—but I still enjoyed it.

Snow outside the office in the late afternoon Tuesday.

Snow in our front yard in the evening.

A little snow on the bench by our side door.

The HVAC people came on Monday to work on the heat pump. I expected that they would complete the work that day.

They didn’t. They asked if they could go finish a more pressing job (and it was) and come back Wednesday.

I thought I couldn’t relax until the work was done and everything was back in place. But I can.

I’ve got deadlines and big stories to cover at the office. I expected to be able to relax a bit after gritting my teeth and getting through it. I had my schedule all planned.

Then I was reminded of another story responsibility on the very day I had set aside (in my mind) for relief.

I’ve got time every day to relax and do things I enjoy. I’ve got time every day to do the things I need to do. I’m grateful for that. I don’t need to wait for a far off day, after everything is “done,” to enjoy life.

Expectations don’t have to drive my life. Though I expect I’ll have to learn that lesson many more times.

How about you? Have you had your expectations dashed lately? 

Random 5 Friday: Work and time for a few photographs

Happy Friday! I’m joining in with the Random 5 Friday meme, created by and hosted by Nancy at A Rural Journal. You can join in the fun by writing your own random 5 and linking up at Nancy’s blog.

The photos below are of a new installation of public art in Altavista. The downtown revitalization group recently set up the bench that includes a lovely sculpture of a mother and child reading together. It sits outside the library.

One

On Sunday afternoon, I took my camera and drove and walked around town, taking photos of things I found interesting.

One of the interesting side effects of working for the local paper is that when someone who knows I work for the paper sees me with a camera, they sometimes assume I’m on the job.

As I was taking pictures at the library of things like the bench, an acquaintance walking by asked if I was taking photos for the paper.

No, I said. Just for me.

Two

My favorite color is purple. Blue is a close second, especially sky blue and lavender blue. Yet, most of the time I wear khaki, white and black, with some navy.

I buy and wear what seems the easiest: everything goes with khaki, white and black, and those colors go with each other. Thus, more outfits for the money.

Sometimes it does get boring, though.

What’s your favorite color? Do your clothes reflect that?

Three

One of the reasons I like fall and winter—cooler weather—is because I love to wear turtlenecks. They’re just so comfortable. And they can be dressed up or down, depending on the occasion.

With turtlenecks, I do wear more color. I have one in just about every color, including purple and different shades of blue.

Four

I feel like I’ve been something of a slug this week. I worked late Monday and Tuesday, and the work was stressful and intense. It just seemed to tire me out more than usual.

I went to bed early Wednesday night and slept late Thursday morning. I was off work Thursday, so I took a nap that afternoon. And I still feel tired. It seems to take me a while to get over a couple of days of intensity.

Five

My stories in this week’s paper reflect the variety of my work: a story on a county meeting on how to deal with water issues; a story on the retirement of the local chamber president; a story on the preliminary hearing in a murder case; and a story on the grand jury returning capital murder indictments in another case.

I like the variety of my job, but it’s sometimes disconcerting to have such a wide range of things to cover and write about.