Spring fever, stuck in winter

I’m missing spring.

Or, to be more accurate, I feel like I’m missing spring.

I was looking through some photos on my computer and found a whole folder of pictures that I took last spring. Some I shared with you on this blog. I seemed to be out and about a lot, catching shots of blooms and a little wildlife. There are even photos of me on a bike. Me, being active!

It seems like a long time since I’ve been very active. I’ve been in The Monster Boot and on crutches for a little over five weeks. Even before then, for weeks, my foot hurt so much that I wasn’t walking much.

(Note: There’s a lesson here. If your foot hurts and doesn’t stop, go to the doctor. Do not wait, thinking, “It will get better soon.” It might not get better on its own.)

I’m sorry to whine. I really am. But I’m feeling like—well, like I’m missing something. A whole season.

Part of it is the OCD. I could go out into the yard on my crutches. I’m sure if I asked, Larry would drive me down to the park and I could walk around.

But there’s all that dirt, some of it damp, some of it plain mud. And there are other things on the ground that I don’t know about. What if I get my crutches and boot dirty? I know how hard it would be to clean them “good enough.”

Or so my OCD thinking goes.

Maybe there’s an exposure there waiting to happen. Maybe I should just go out into the yard and take pictures and feel the warmth of spring. And if I get dirt on my crutches or boot, then I’ll clean them. And deal with it.

Actually, that’s what I am going to have to do. Face the anxiety, be uncomfortable, but get outside!

But probably not today. I have another appointment with my orthopedic doctor this afternoon. More X-rays. I hope that the bone is healing. I hope I can give up the crutches.

If I have to keep the crutches, I’ll deal with it. They’re my extra paws, you know.

For the time being, here are some of those photos from last spring. They were taken in my neighborhood, in the park by the river and at a nearby pond.

Please share in the comments what you’re doing to enjoy spring.

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A housekeeping note: I’ve had problems with spam, so I experimented with different settings for making comments.

I did word verification for a while, but I was afraid that might be dissuading some of you from commenting.

So I tried the setting where you have to be registered to comment. That took care of the spam, but some of you were not able to comment, or it was a problem to comment.

I’ve gone back to the open setting. Your comments are precious to me!

Anxiety and a broken foot

I took a step forward in taking care of my physical health, and I ended up wearing a new boot.

In my last post, I wrote about the need I had to take care of my physical health. One of the problems I’d been experiencing was ongoing pain in my right foot.

I finally called my family doctor’s office Friday. They are in a temporary office location while a new facility is being built, so they are without on-site x-ray services. They suggested I go to a related practice that sees walk-in patients.

I went there Sunday and after they did x-rays, they told me that I had fractured the fifth metatarsal in my foot. They think it’s a stress fracture.

They outfitted me with a boot to keep the foot immobilized and will call me, probably today, with a referral to an orthopedic doctor.

As I sat in the exam room at the doctor’s office, waiting for them to finish all the paperwork, I could feel anxiety start building up. I admit that I let the anxiety take over for a while.

*It’s not safe to drive while wearing the boot. I drive fairly often for my job. I don’t want Larry to have to drive me everywhere I need to go for work. If I drive, I have to take the boot off. Will that hurt my foot more? How can I balance out the driving?

*How will I keep the boot clean? I thought immediately of the public bathroom at work. The floor doesn’t always look clean. How will I deal with that?

*What if I have to have a cast? How will I manage showering?

*The weather forecasters are calling for rain, sleet and snow on Wednesday. If I have my orthopedic doctor’s appointment on Wednesday, will I be able to get there?

*I did some Internet research on foot fractures. The need for surgery seems very unlikely. But what if I do need it? How will I work that out with my job?

Of course, these worries are based on fear of the unknown, fear of what might happen, on what ifs.

When I managed to push off the anxiety long enough to really think about my fears, I realized that I was worrying about things that might not happen.

If they did happen, I would adapt. I’ve adapted before. I can do it again.

*The orthopedic doctor can advise me on driving. I’ll work it out.

*Many years ago, I had bunion surgery and had to wear a light boot. I wore it everywhere I needed to, even in public places. I adapted.

*Several years ago, I had to wear a bandage on my hand for weeks to protect a bad cut. I had to cover it to take a shower. I adapted.

*I can reschedule a doctor’s appointment if that’s necessary. I’ve done it before.

*The orthopedic doctor will know what needs to be done to help the foot heal. I’ll adapt to the treatment he or she recommends.

I’m looking forward to healing and getting back to normal. If I have to adapt along the way, then that’s what I’ll do.

When have you had to adapt to changing circumstances? How did you manage to do it?